Dear INFP (from ESTP)


#1

if most people ‘play’ the victim.
i see INFP as a real victim.

when they show kindness, it is one of those kindness where they don’t brag about it.
like when Jesus says, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that God will reward you in secret.

and most of the time, they don’t even know they’re being kind.
they almost NEVER brag about it. or even talk about it.
and they don’t even expect the kindness in return… or… do they?

in a GRAND sense. they do expect other people to be kind. but they realize people aren’t.
or… do they realize?

they’re one of the most type to be upset over injustice.
HATE injustice.

i never knew until later, that my INFP brother told himself
"i’ll never be like him(ESTP) when i grow up"

they’re the type to watch animal documentary and become a vegan.

to make them do anything, you have to INSPIRE their heart.

oh btw , DON’T START A BUSINESS.
unless. you know that you won’t be making much money from it.
if you’re completely okay with the fact that you’re gonna be helping people, but not going to be rich out of it. then sure.
BUT, if you’re starting a business thinking everyone will be ‘inspired’ and see ‘vision’ like you do, then , please stop, or consult your ideas to at least 10 people, not your 10 INFx friends.

sometimes i wanna tell them to ‘BE more selfish’

they’re the type to apologize when their foot was stepped on by someone.
they’re the type to blame themself when someone cheats on them.

no. it’s not your fault that your foot was there. they should’ve been careful.
it’s not your fault they cheated on you, or left you. they should’ve worked it out with you.

it seems like INFP-INTJ dynamic works pretty well in many cases.

INFPs really don’t ‘bother’ people.
they’re the type to watch you sleep until you wake up.
or just sit quietly in their thoughts while someone ‘should wake up’

when INFP gets angry…or the proper term is. blow up.
there is no mercy.
i’ve seen a few INFP destroy the other person .
if their ‘heart’ is on fire, then there is no stopping them.
it’s like when Super Mario eats(?) a star and goes on a trance

INFPs. follow your dream.
but it doesn’t mean you have to get a job that pays you to do what you want. not necessarily, no.
but if that happens. then good for you.

and INFP.
one friend means you have everything.
and 2, that means you’re very successful in life. and more than enough.
any more than that, call them your acquaintances. don’t give them your all.


Introduce Yourselves!
#2

this sounds about right to me. something about chasing friendship that ain’t worth it… and yes, proper term for anger is erruption. it feels exactly like erruption, like WOAH… spew of xhiuahdfdsdushjhkjkk. <—that is how intelligible infp is in that state.


#3

What have you seen INFP do when on eruption rampage? I wanna hear the story of someone being INFP-destroyed!!! Hahah

Also, have you checked if you can post in any other thread that is in the “Myers Briggs” category? I feel like the category is the issue.


#4

@Prax
they think INFP won’t do anything about it. which is the worst mistake that people make. they always underestimate the the quiet kid who doesn’t bother anybody.
one kid, he thought my INFP brother was just some quiet, shy, nice kid. one day he blatantly stole my brother’s money and ran away. And they go to same school. my brother texted him saying “I’m gonna beat the fxxking sxxt out of you” blah blah blah rage texts.
at this point, he was struggling with money so it made him really upset. And he really works hard to earn his money. minimum wage. and the kid stole about his 2weeks worth of wage.

and the kid I guess got confident all of sudden and challenged my brother to a fight. thought my brother wouldn’t really do anything.
I think that audacity made my brother more upset.

they met behind the public library. bunch of kids were there. both of their friends. about 9-12 total.
as soon as my brother saw him, he landed punches on him couple of times, slam him on the ground. and then just destroys the kid’s face until there is no more form. and of course, he doesn’t stop going ham. he said he blacked out from being upset. And the kid getting hit was consciously feeling everything landing on him.
three people comes and pulls him off “Omg dude you’re gonna kill him!”

he didn’t get his money back.

and for a few months, that kid either didn’t come to school, or tried s his best to avoid my brother.

my brother said “if I saw him again the next day I knew I would just punch his face right away. he did good by not showing up in my presence.”

he’s a very kind kid.

but one day I pushed his limit and chased me with a hammer and a knife.
I ran to my room and he was stabbing the door and hammering it.
he was about 7 years old.

I had to beg for mercy desperately for him to not kill me.


oh, and i think the category is the issue too.
for some reason i don’t have access to those.
i can read them. but that’s pretty much it


#5

That is hilarious. An INFP chasing an ESTP around. With a knife. :smile_cat: I’ve done the exact same thing. Pushed my INFP brother to the limit, whereupon he snapped and chased me around with a metal baseball bat. Bludgeoned a hole right into my door! Then we worked together to make a sign to put over the hole to cover it up from our parents.

To be fair to my brother, we found out that he had a massive brain tumor that was messing badly with his self-control and feelings. After it was removed, he never blew up like that again. And I’ve never heard him say a mean thing to or about anyone. Including me, even when I’ve really pissed him off. Like, he will resent things that happen and that people do, but he doesn’t have a sense of meanness towards people themselves, no matter what they do to him. He used to get bullied a lot. But also attracts a lot of goodwill, in his way.

I do think INFP are the most likely type to get taken advantage of by others. Or, what other types would see as being taken advantage of. But I feel like they aslo resent a bit if people try to “help” them or imply this is what’s going on, especially if the person taking advantage of them or even outright abusing them is someone they love.

Fortunately a lot of them also have that sort of above-it-all princess vibe that keeps them away from such things. I still stick to my idea that there are two types of INFPs: those who float away from emotional leeches, and those who get pulled in by them and can’t seem to escape.


#6

hmm. maybe my brother has a brain tumor? hahaha

you’re right about two types of INFPs,
there is an assertive one and turbulent one.
16personality.com explains those two types pretty well.

i believe there are Assertive and Turbulent for each types.

smh… they do get taken advantage of…
and it seems like they don’t really feel that way when they do.


#8

why does it make you wanna bitch slap the entire planet?

INFPs have good business ideas. but they need some touch-ups on their ideas. more realistic ones.
if you have any idea, feel free to post! maybe i can try to give you some critical realistic advice.
and i can pretty much predict if this is going to 1.make money, or 2. help people,
or both, or neither. i’d have to know haha
i’m doing my own business right now. it’s a secret, but it’s doing pretty well.
so i know a quite few things about business ;]

https://www.16personalities.com/articles/identity-assertive-vs-turbulent

this is the basic definition of it.
and you can apply either one on any of the mbti types.
there are more likely to be assertive, like ESTP,
or more likely to be turbulent, like INFP.

but there are assertive INFPs, that comes off more of a thinker type,
and i’ve seen turbulent ESTP, that comes off ENFJ trying to talk tough.


#10

@supernocturnal

I don’t know know that I know any estp well. I would like to though as they sound the opposite of neurotic. Do you think that’s fair to say that estps aren’t very neurotic?


#11

it’s rare to say ESTPs are neurotic.
most of ESTPs i know don’t even come off that way to me.

i think this chart is pretty accurate . in a sense.

ESTPs are least unhappy, because they don’t overthink.
and they don’t think with emotions.

Blake: do you understand your own sadness?
Me: i don’t think i remember the last time i felt sad?

but it doesn’t mean i don’t understand people’s sadness.
i understand it in a logical, more concrete way.
understanding why they are sad, instead of how they are sad.


#12

i say INFPs are victim because they always try to help people.
well. it seems like they truly want to help everyone.
in this society, it just almost given, to be taken advantage of, when you help someone.
the less you help, the less you’ll be taken advantage of.
i say INFPs will face that, because most of them, from my experience, genuinely wants to help people , even strangers.
and if people take advantage, then it’s not really your fault. they will deserve the troule that will come upon them.
INFPs will be rewarded in many ways. including good reputation.

your business idea is fun. to make it successful you definitely need ‘pretty’ girls for models. and personal branding is a must. but what’s important is, HOW will you make money. where will you get the income. from ads? or from subscribers?

‘making money’ part of business sounds boring. and it’s all number game. but that’s one of the most important thing to keep the business alive.

i like the online education/courses idea too. but that requires diligence. consistency.
most successful youtubers are consistent with their videos. and when they stop. people will turn to something else.
people don’t have patience for you to come up with something when everybody else is coming up with new and interesting things.

yeah, sounds boring isn’t it?
that’s why it’s often hard to put business and interest together.
because no matter how you ‘feel’ during the day. you have to work.
so someone has to have a stabilized mood to continue to business and not crash


#13

oh dear intps … :frowning: this chart makes being an intp look very difficult! hurts to see!

and wow, look at the estp outliers. pretty clear from this graphic that they are a special breed.

here is my secret confession: Blake has this thing called Se minimums for infp. I turn it into estp-minimums “in my head”. Like I just try to pretend to be estp every now and then. It is like wearing a non-neurotic costume for a few minutes.


#15

does that actually work?
putting on that estp-minimum?
i’m really curious.

my INFP brother, who was basically raised by his ESTP older brother,
i think he learned to do the similar thing.
but like you said, it can only last so long.

in what situations do you exactly pretend to be estp?

in that case, i guess i pretend to be INFP sometimes too


#16

I think maybe when supernocturnal says INFPs are “real” victims" where other types “play” victims might have more to do with the INFP mindset about being victimized. Like, you know how a lot of people will be victims AT you, trying to juggle your pity or your guilt or whatever. Whatever happened to them may well be truly terrible, but it’s like in a way a lot of people get a bit of melodramatic…satisfaction, or self-soothing out of the very hardship of their circumstances. I notice INFPs don’t really do this much. They will feel very sad and crushed by things but don’t seem to really “pity” themselves as such. Or at least they don’t wallow in it.

“I do think INFP are the most likely type to get taken advantage of by others […] But I feel like they also resent a bit if people try to “help” them or imply this is what’s going on.” Like I said, haha. But as I also said, what would strike many others as “being taken advantage of” may not, to an INFP, count as being taken advantage of. And, I mean, if they want to give of themselves to someone, and they are able to do it without draining of themselves, are they really getting taken advantage of?

Either way, I think, @lml, that you’re probably one of those INFPs who attract a lot of goodwill. :slight_smile: Most probably do, provided they aren’t in crappy circumstances.


#17

yes yes yes!
two things:

  1. it momentarily feels good (woohoo, because when you pretend to be estp, you accept things for how they are and if you have to change something you accept to do so because you become one with the situation kind of, don’t question, just start acting)

and

  1. it also feels like a reset button of sorts, don’t know why, but it’s great

and um the second 1. should be a 2. it shows as a 2. until I post.


#18

hahaha yes!
see, that’s how INFP naturally think.

yes and no.
and that’s why i like to tell INFPs to be more ‘selfish’

because when INFPs help, sometimes they sacrifice themselves too much to go out of their way to help.

me? heck no. it’s very rare that i’ll sacrifice so much of myself.
and IF i do, i MAKE SURE i get rewarded.

i do believe in something called ‘karma’. not 100%, but the concept of good coming back to you.
INFPs have the energy that attracts help.
who wouldn’t want to go pick up and hug a ‘sad puppy in the raining shivering and whimpering’?
you guys have that energy.
if INFP was my waiter/waitress, i would probably want to tip more money because of how genuinely kind they were. and how they made me feel comfortable.

so i guess that’s called karma, or law of attraction.
but the bible speaks of it. you reap what you sow.

INFP like that kind of community.
helping, and getting helped.

for me. not necessarily. it’s nice.
but i don’t need help. and i don’t really want to help you unless you really need it.
that’s my attitude.
and for INFP, it may sound slightly foreign, but it works for me.
and for INFP, it works for them being helpful to society.

and that’s how the world works. it’s all balanced.
we need INFPs. and we need ESTPs. and they have different skills.
monkeys climb trees. and fishes swim in the water.
one is not necessarily better than the other.
cats don’t bark, and dogs don’t meow.
it’s not ‘wrong’.
we just have to be the best of what we are made to be.

hmm, i wonder if all this makes sense.

i would really like to see the samples of your 'blog’
but consistency is definitely the key to success. monetary-wise.

INFPs are very artistic. i think they are one of the most artistic, and they are excellent at interior designs.

but it seems to , from the way you write, i think there’s much potential that your blog can be successful


#19

woah, can you u explain more? maybe i can add that to my se minimums. how do you do that? would that be like “hey look what I did for you there…”?? or just out right “you owe me one”?? i have no idea how this works.


#20

ohhh! wonderfully put!

yes, you definitely understood my nuance! yay INFJ!

no, INFPs really don’t pity themselves.
and they LOVE to help.
they just sometimes wonder, ‘why can’t everyone be this way?’


#21

wow. i mean, it definitely sounds like an ESTP thing to do.
but how? how is that even possible ?
and if you like it, why do you go back to your INFP self?

but your number 1, is VERY practical for ANY emotional types.
that is pretty amazing how one can acquire that.


#22

Well it is kind of like a bandaid on a problem. Those momentary pretendings as I call them, somehow keep me from falling into maladaptive ruts. Give my brain a tiny break from the neurosis haha. I think the key is MINIMUM. You can do anything for a minimum. Like I am sure you could do Fi for 1 minute. It’s like that Japanese 1 minute daily self-improvement concept. Think you can’t do THIS, well then just do 1 minute a day.
Or those intense short interval trainings. Can’t run a mile? Can you sprint for 1 minute?
Same but psychological rather than physical.

Maybe it’s placebo:) But if placebo works then placebo works:)

oh and I go back to infp because natural state equals drifting to outerspace… It’s quite the mental self-talk to be so present as to be doing an se minimum.


#23

it’s like a business "deal"
for example, i once bought a used car because it was such a good deal.
they were selling it for $600, because they had to move away.
and i went, and told them "i have $450 cash on me right now"
and usually, they take it, they like the sound of ‘cash’.
it was such a steal. the car was running fine.

someone needed a car, so i offered.
now, INFP, if ‘moved’, would probably give it to the person for $400. or just $450, exactly what they bargained for.
but me, i knew what the car was worth. if i sold it on the market.
i offered to sell it for $1300, and here is the key. ‘down payment of $400’.
hahahah
sounds like a scheme? no. he was very thankful.
and i told him to me weekly, and sometimes i would rush him.
and i ‘lowered’ the price down to $1200. so he was definitely happy.

sounds like i’m just playing with their head right?
well yeah kind of. from my perspective it does.
but it was a win-win deal for both.
he needed a car. there’s no way he can start driving with just $400.
and i made some profit off of it.
and he doesn’t need to know i bought the car for $450.
because that’s my skill and effort to find and bargain a car for $450.

this is one example.

and if there’s no chance of me being ‘rewarded’, then i’ll just tell them ‘no’, that i can’t help them.
or at least i should ‘break even’

the bible says, 'when you owe someone, you become their slave’
and it’s really true. when i ‘help someone’, and when they feel like they owe me, they treat me like a master.
and the key is, you have to let them know you actually helped them. not for free.
because sadly, many people aren’t appreciative.

it’s like this.
for ‘normal’ person. if someone they don’t really respect helps them, let’s say, a bully, bullying a kid, and takes the kid’s money or whatever. the bully won’t feel like he owes anything to the kid. and maybe, the kid can even offer a help. but the bully won’t really appreciate help coming from the kid.
but if someone he respects, lend him something. then that ‘bully’ will feel like he ‘owe’ something.

yeah. it’s just the sad reality.

did that help at all?