Doing the Impossible: Sorting out ENFJ who do not want to be sorted!


#1

Your overall impression screams enneatype 3 ENFJ.


Difference INFJ/ENFJ, females
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#2

:ghost:

Things kind of make more sense!! But I’m still a little confused…

First…why the hell am I in science research loolol?? I should just quit and become a pop star. But in all seriousness can enfjs be good at science and Ti/Te heavy stuff with inf-Ti? And I’ve never felt as if I was ever good with Se…how does Se play out for enfj?

Also I’ve never felt as if I eat people during parties…if anything I’m usually off to the side trying to find another relatively introverted person to start a conversation with…or I’ll awkwardly go and eat food…


#3

I don’t know. Why the hell are you in science research? [quote=“iamrl, post:42, topic:74”]
I should just quit and become a pop star.
[/quote]

Maybe.

Yes, I think an ENFJ could get by in the sciences, but, not because of Ti, but rather because of their Ne id.

Ne is one half of the equation of science, which basically means a fascination with and perception of how the universe works. Ti is more the precise formulations that result from this primary perception. Ne notices patterns in the world and ENFJs are pretty instinctively attuned to this at a subconscious level.

ENFJs have a love-hate attraction-repulsion thing with Ti. For example, in this whole world of “what type an I?” and “what type is this other person?” I think ENFJs can be suddenly drawn to it and be really into it and then lose interest in it altogether and even think that the whole enterprise of static typing is bullshit.

This ties in very much with the ENFJ psychology of wanting to be known, wanting to have a name for what they are and then flipping back into Fe where they are like “I’m all things. There is no one word for what I am”. But, there is a desire to be imprisoned in a word (or a situation) only so that they can break free into the unconditioned again.

They are attracted to a person that can know them for them. Name me.

And then they’ll rebel.

ENFJs tend to be very rebellious against boundaries of the Ti, and especially, the Te variety. They’re at least attracted to Ti. Te, they hate. And they’ll react pretty sharply against some form of imposed (and what seems to them, arbitrary and artificial) external restraint.

“I dare you to know me. I dare you to name me.”

Fun.

You’re good with it. That’s one of the reasons I think you’re an ENFJ and not an INFJ. Part of the thing that screams ENFJ to me is very much due to Se.

A certain visceral and immediate quality that INFJs don’t tend to have. In your face. Now.

It’s common in my experience for ENFJs to think they are introverts. I also find that it is common for ENFJs not to be in tune with how much power and presence they project. To themselves, they’ll describe themselves as soft and unimposing. Which is how they feel to themselves.

But, they project the Ni-Se axis and that’s power baby! Other people can be pretty intimidated and awed by the ENFJ sense of presence.

You also have an obvious sexuality which is very overt and…well…sexy.

INFJs tend not to have this, even if they are sexy. It’s downplayed and more muted in them. Se inferior.

You project yourself very sexually and with confidence and animal magnetism.

Yeah, you got the whole enneatype 3 ENFJ package going on.

Even your avatar is so ENFJ. It’s like INFJ with a strong Se component. Red lips. Devouring. Rose.

It’s hot.


#4

Okay @Prax Blake’s convinced me…put me down as enfj.

Now onwards!!

This just clicked with me…I realize why I hate my work now…it’s not exciting or new anymore but dull and full of repetitive splitting of hairs. I hate reading primary scientific articles most of all…they’re so boring and dry and percise…though I do love presenting on articles and posters because that’s when I become the best version of myself (more articulate, confident, inspiring)…so there’s that preforming aspect you mentioned…

Life makes SO MUCH SENSE now.

…though according to @Ankh and @super I am much more of a thinker than feeler…but maybe that’s because I’ve tried so hard over the years to be the perfect scientist. Being overly analytical did not come naturally to me…

Oh this is why I both love and hate philosophy!! Logical positivism especially killed me, I hated it with a burning passion…

If you say so hahaa!

Makes sense. And thinking about it again…I grew up in a family that heavily emphasized intellectual prowess and introspection…and my parents used to love bragging about how well I fit into that mold (to my complete embarrassment…)

Is this why no one talks to me?? I just thought I was so socially awkward that I was unapproachable. But no you guys can always come talk to me any time!! :kissing_heart:

Thanks!! Now it’s time to use that magnetism to find my true luv :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

PS If any of my millennial tendencies annoy you…apologies. Can’t help that I was born in this generation…but I can try rising above it :smirk_cat:


#5

yeah, just from how you’re coming off on the forum alone, i would have said you were thinky-type enfp or enfj because too much ne + affectations. enfp tend to be lighter than enfj though.


#6

Awesome! There’s two of us!! We’ll have to compare notes.


#7

Really I don’t use this many affectations in real life…I swear :stuck_out_tongue:


#8

Yes!! Let’s compare notes…we’re at pretty different places in our lives right?? But both deeply unsatisfied…


#9

My ENFJ friend is a geneticist… She works on mutations and loves the “finding new ways to help people” part of it… the procedures and lab work stress her out, because she is too much of a perfectionist… but that doesn’t stop her from being really good at her work… and there’s a lot of wonder/fascination in her voice when she talks about the things she has learnt… it isn’t her passion though… i mean, she is thinking of doing a PhD, but i know its not because she loves research… she’s doing it because she thinks its the responsible thing to do (she is married and she wants to support her husband… give him the freedom to take risks with his career)… her real passion = animals and history… she can talk for hours about the Egyptian Civilization or the wives and mistresses of the Kings of England (she loves powerful women who subverted the rules and expectations of society)… and i think she is an animal whisperer :stuck_out_tongue: she would definitely be happiest studying animal psychology and history… hang out with cats and dogs everyday and be a sexy librarian or something :stuck_out_tongue: anyway… it helps that she has a super massive crush on her guide… gotta give yourself a reason to look forward to working in the lab all day (don’t tell her husband, who she does love to death) :stuck_out_tongue:


#10

Muahhaha seems like a common thread…can we really do anything without being motivated by a crush?? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye: Thanks for the encouragement though…


#11

I like this depiction of the push-pull, on/off I’ve sometimes seen in ENFJ; pehaps this is where some of that intense magneticsm comes from.

My own back and forth is far more intellectual and self conscious. Like experimentation or something. “On the other hand…” less visceral and casting off less energy for others to experience. A slowing down.


#12

I feel much the same. But I don’t know that I feel your energy is less, but different. Or maybe different depending on one’s MBTI type. Intellectual energy is very stimulating/magnetizing to me.


#13

Yeah, definitely. I remember this elder intellectual gentlemen said about the enneatype 3 ENFJ girl I was dating at the time (15 years ago or so) that she wanted to be trapped only so that she could break out that trap. Or something to that effect. This statement has stuck with me to this day. Very insightful and elegant summation of her, and I think, upon reflection, of all women of this type.

It does create a magnetism because I notice that men tend to be very attracted to women of this type. And women tend to be very attracted to men of this type.

The women enneatype 3 ENFJs are attracted to the embodiment of their inferior Ti, which has something to do with being typed or named. They want someone who can give them a name for what they are. But, then when that is done, they flip to the other pole and rebel against it. They’re also attracted to men that are very smart and intellectual.

But, then they get restless and want to challenge all the conventions of intellectual systems.

I’ve seen this happen with numerous women of this type. They can be really into intellectualism and then suddenly they swing and are like “Bullshit, it’s all bullshit!”

Well, that has all the characteristics of the inferior function: push-pull, love-hate, attraction-repulsion, fascination-disgust.

And Ti represents codified intellectual systems. Like, Myers-Briggs, for example. Or astrology. Or economics. Or any number of the science branches.

I find that a type 3 ENFJ women can be very interested in an intellectual branch of knowledge IF she is interested in the person behind the system or the person teaching the system. I should say, the man, behind the system. That’s what she wants. And she wants to understand this man. And she wants to attract this man. And she wants to be named by this man.

Actually, now that I think about it, this dynamic reminds me of the movie The Neverending Story. The Empress of Fantasia needed a name or else THE NOTHING would tear apart all of Fantasia. The main boy protagonist in it needed to be the one to give her a name. So, I think the Empress was an enneatype 3 ENFJ. She certainly looked and acted like one.

Yeah, ENTPs are much more naturally and consistently intellectual. And playfully intellectual. They also lack the Se that ENFJs have that is so appealing in that visceral sense. The ENTP appeal is more comedy and humor. They certainly have an appeal, but, it is very different from the kind of sexual-emotional appeal an ENFJ has. ENFJ appeal is the kind that hits you right in those instinctive, emotional, and irrational centers.

ENTPs hit you right in the funny bone. Or they impress the hell out of you with their intellectual and verbal flow. Also, there lack of attachment to it all. They have this perfect ironic detachment. Like, they’re above all that stuff I was talking about for ENFJ. In other words, they don’t have that Se visceral sex appeal that ENFJ has taken to a level of perfection, and dare I say, in some cases, genius.

A highly developed ENFJ has sexual genius.

A highly developed ENTP has comedic and intellectual genius.

But, yeah, its primarily something to do with comedy and ironic detachment. It’s not so much intellectual in that weighty sense, but…well, take Socrates. I think he is the perfect example of ENTP genius. It all revolves around the capacity to perceive at some primary level, but, not be attached to any of the results of it. To not take it that seriously. And to play with it.

As we know, the Socratic method has to do with asking a lot of questions. You ask one question, which leads to another question, and so on. What I think you find is that past a certain point there is no such thing as knowledge (epistemology). It’s like going beyond duality and arriving at this place where you really know nothing. Or everything. That’s Ne.

It leads to absurdity. It leads to cosmic laughter. That’s ENTP. In it’s highest aspect. It’s The Fool archetype in Tarot. It is The Zero. It is the infinite out of which all things can come.

But, ENTP is not attached to any of the things that can inhabit that space. It is really just interested in SPACE itself. The more the better. I think the basic psychological action of Ne is to increase the distance between entities.

For example, it seems to be the case that the universe is expanding, so whatever is currently in that space will only get farther and farther apart the more the universe expands. Well, that’s Ne.

ENFJs have Ne id, which means that deep in their emotions they instinctively crave a lot of space to themselves. Which is also participating in that conundrum I listed above of the push-pull thing for ENFJ. They are attracted to imprisonment in a word of situation (pretty much Ti or Fi), but, then when it gets too close for comfort, their id rears up and big bangs them back into that state of unconditioned freedom. Or at least, that is the tendency.

Obviously, a balance between these factors is necessary. Such as an ENFJ being in a committed relationship (Fi) where they have a lot of freedom. Or being able to embrace an intellectual system loosely. Not in extremes.

ENTPs just tend to be in a more constant state of detachment.


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#14

can you tell me why i’m not attracted to ENFJ type 3?

i never actually found any ENFJ really attractive.

not sexually or romantically.

maybe interesting. but that’s far as my interest go.

just.

interesting.

i’m not coming at ENFJs! i just really wanna know why i don’t feel the ‘magnetism pull’ like everybody else!?


#15

You know I really envy you @johnonymous. It’s great that at your best you have developed comedic and intellectual genius…apparently at my best I’m just a femme fatale…:stuck_out_tongue:


#16

would you rather be Socrates or femme fatale?


#17

Ask me now and I’ll say one thing…ask me tomorrow and I’ll say the other :smirk_cat:


#18

are ENFJs the most sporadic xxxJ?

why don’t you be both?

a hybrid? comedic-genius-sexual-seducer.

woah.

that actually sounds very interesting.

sounds like devil’s right hand


#19

Says the femme fetale.

As for Socrates: ask me now and I’ll ask an annoying question back, ask me tomorrow and I’ll – wait – hang on I just wanna finish talking – I choose feme fa​:fire::fire::fire::fire:

Meanwhile plato’s like :fountain_pen: "The … :writing_hand:t3::writing_hand:t3:unexamined …:writing_hand:️:writing_hand:️… life … "


#20

Hahaaaha well if Socrates wants to…who will say no to that? He’ll thoroughly massage your mind :stuck_out_tongue: