Don't you want to be your benefactor


#1

The benefactor type is a socionics thing, and it’s the type who has your Id as Dominant and your inferior as auxiliary. Eg INTJ for INFP, ISFP for INFJs, INFP for ISFJ, ISTP for INTJ

So this is not going to make sense, but here goes. I wanna be an INTJ, or more like, the ideal of the INTJ. (Or maybe, the ideal version of an INFP is like the abstract essence of an INTJ) If I were to turn into that, my life would be pretty much done and I could die in peace (or maybe I’d want to be an ISTP after I finally make it to INTJ)

I would finally understand everything there is to understand so I wouldn’t have to worry or think about anything anymore. How relaxing. I would have Se, Ni, Te, all the important stuff. I would have a new Fe weakness, but I never cared about Fe anyways. I would have less Fi/Ne, but I wouldn’t need them anymore, because all the things those functions were needed for would be achieved in the transformation to INTJ. I would just look at things and be like, yes ok. And that would be that :stuck_out_tongue:


#2

Do INTJ want to be ISTP? Yes? Yes. Hahaa!
But it’s probably BAD FOR YOU to try to become your benefactor because you still don’t want to deal with your tertiary and superego (3rd and 6th functions), so you become deranged/unhinged to others. I try to imagine some INFP trying to be all INTJ and it just brings up feelings of cringe (haphazardly skips over details and ignores current context when trying to power through things–basically making a mess).
ISTP probably feel the same about INTJ trying to be “edgy stoic adventure badass” caricature like them too LOL.
It probably comes off as always being a fake person.

I guess the lesson is that people should be the best of themselves, not the secondhand versions of someone else.

Just to clarify a bit if people don’t know:

http://www.socionics.com/rel/bn.htm
Relations of Benefit may appear even and conflict free. Usually it is the Benefactor who initiates the contact. Partners can even feel some kind of spiritual connection between them. However, relations last only as long as the Benefactor has something to give and the Beneficiary has need of it. If this major condition is no longer fulfilled, relations enter quite an unpleasant stage of their development.
The Beneficiary may begin ignoring the Benefactor completely or they may start to accentuate too many of the Benefactors inability, provoking arguments and quarrels. Finally, when the Benefactor is in a superior position to the Beneficiary, it can work quite well, but not when it is the other way round!

Translate to MBTI (because socionics terms hurts me lol):

benefactor (position to give) > beneficiary (position to recieve)

ENTP > ENFJ
ENFJ > ESFP
ESFP > ESTJ
ESTJ > ENTP

ESFJ > ENFP
ENFP > ENTJ
ENTJ > ESTP
ESTP > ESFJ

INTP > ISTJ
ISTJ > ISFP
ISFP > INFJ
INFJ > INTP

ISFJ > ISTP
ISTP > INTJ
INTJ > INFP
INFP > ISFJ


#3

My dad is my supervisor and I don’t envy his Fe superego punch he feels sometimes where he can’t even interact with his own family sometimes. I am his daughter and he gets shy with me and avoids talking to me because I am boring so it would come down to Fe to talk to me in spite of the boring aspect. It’s like being socially crippled. Rather than become intj with a new set of problems I would like to have an intj guide:) An intj to turn to sometimes when trying to make sense of a situation.


#4

So then to you I am fake, deranged, unhinged and cringe-inducing? how lovely : P edit. Maybe you take me too seriously?


#5

I feel like a lazy person being told not to be lazy. I know I shouldn’t be lazy. What I’m saying is. I’m lazy. Don’t you wanna be lazy.


#6

Yeah I could laze all day.


#7

hahahah. ME TOO


#8

As infp my pattern is that if something starts to matter to me I am not lazy about that. I will get really into it and work hard. I’ll be lazy about everything else. Until I feel guilty and go through a short phase of being very dutiful about most things. Then it gets exhausting and I’ll focus on one thing all over again. That one thing tends to change around. Relate?


#9

Like an enneagram 3? Are you 9?

Enneagram directions of integration/disintegration

I think this might have more juice than trying to be your benefactor. 5 to 8- when I power up I might be ENTJ/ENFJ like, trying to be ISTP like would probably just lead to frustration and possibly blood, maybe shrapnel.


#10

Was I even talking about you when I said “imagine some INFP who try to be all INTJ”? LOL

But yeah, if you’re gonna do that, then you’re going to come off like a fake try-hard. That just how it be for anyone (anyone trying to become their id and grip?)! I guess higher order Fe people get away with it better, but there’s too much dissonance when it comes to heavy Fi-users for it to look natural. But even when INFJ wish they could be ISFP who naturally and shamelessy (it looks like) be selfish people, their guilt will start firing up to beat themselves in because that’s not who they are or should be.

@lunar I think you are displaying what happens when you see that you no longer want to be “under the benefit” of the INTJ lol. You can see that they are just another person and their authority wanes and then it gets uncomfortable for them–accordingt o socionics anyway! Maybe he’s shy because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. It’s hard to say that INTJ would find INFP boring (usually it’s more just confusing), and you’re not really boring, but maybe the parts of yourself you do show is very guarded.


#11

@lunar yes I have this. I will do things I don’t care about probably because I have some primal fear of my survival being at risk, like potentially losing my job and also some overly misplaced sense of responsibility. I think it has to do with enneagram 6. Not doing all the stuff I feel I’m supposed to do also gives me feelings of guilt. It used to be much worse than it is now. It’s like at some point I finally got it through my head that most people don’t have this feeling of responsibility and that my sense of it was misplaced to begin with.
And then the periods of really getting into something at the cost of all other activities. I go in knowing it’s not gonna be what I want it to be, but have to do it anyways to live through it and understand better why I shouldn’t have done it?

@geneva I love enneagram have read books on it. I am 6w5. And integration and disintegration is a super interesting thing.
edit: I think I read about the concept of an enneagram ‘soul child’ for each type which gets lost in a development to adulthood, which is childish but essential in nature and a start for integrating the left out soul. 6 have a childish inner laziness and 5 have this inner child that wants to pick a fight and go to town. Which I think I both have. I like looking at other people and seeing their soul child. I think 9 have the soul child of an attention commanding child (in a good non-facebook-selfie-blah kind of way) doing a little dance, that is the start for 3 integration.

@prax well then what do I look like to you anyways - just a confusing mess I bet at this point XD


#12

Yeah I had the same thought about what I was displaying :slight_smile:


#13

Wait you self type as INFP right lunar?


#14

Infp that is pretty textbook infp;)


#15

Maybe shrapnel. Lol. That made me laugh. What a funny tidbit.


#16

because you said your dad is your supervisor and has Fe superego. INTJ have Fe superego. And if INTJ for example is your supervisor, that would make you (edit) ESTJ!


#17

@avolith
look like baby throwing tantrum a bit before! lol
You know, typical INFPish… don’t know what they want because life is hard for them to live, so if they weren’t themselves, things would be easier, but as soon as they aren’t themselves too long they build up a lot of emotional energy that eventually explodes or they suddenly ghost everyone, change identities, move away to a far off land in search for true self or peace.

I think as long as you have good friends that will chase you down each time though (like “haha, where you going infp? i miss you! remember when…”), you get another clue into who you truly are and want to be. Like Si reminders to your wanderlust.

Kind of like INTJ will get obsessed with the world and all it’s workings and political trappings and power structures and trying to find a way to best the system so they aren’t caught under someone’s foot, eventually they need reminders about what they actually care about and want to fight for, their sense of integrity to bring them back on the right track.


#18

@avolith
Yeah survival equals fear for infp:)
When I look at entj, what amazes me is they look like they are participating making things happen rather than freaking out about survival. Outwardly looks like that.


#19

I like parts of my job, and other parts I don’t like. If I didn’t have a super primal fear of survival, I would not do anything other than the interesting stuff. What I’m saying is, it takes a big primal fear to get me to do things I don’t like. When it comes to ENTJs, if I take a really superficial perspective on them I might think they’re all trying hard to contribute to get a primal need for love met from people - I might say that instead of appreciating that they’re actually intrinsically motivated and fascinated with the things they’re doing, which I think many are!

and @prax all the stuff you say is true and insightful, but to me it still feels like an outside in view that misses on the things that I think that really matter. Yes you’re going to think i’m trying to be some enigmatic poser. But hey. I don’t care because I’m going to just be a badass INTJ now throws tantrum

and now this stupid thread is all about me. why cant people just share experiences instead of trying to give advice! Didn’t it say in the INFP instruction manual that giving us advice is forbidden :X


#20

oops benefactor not supervisor