ENFJs, are you aware when someone is attracted to you? Can you read these signals?
I choose not to answer this. I just want it to be known I’m not ignoring you.
There are many other ENFJs here who I hope chime in.
And that’s sweet
So let’s wait
Are there any male ENFJs around, do we know?
I’d appreciate an opinion of female ENFJs as well!
If no one answers in a couple days, I’ll step up to the plate. I’m curious as to why you are asking?
Well I recall how sups wrote once that he is aware if someone is attracted to him. So I wonder does it relate to ENFJs?
I probably have some blind spots towards myself. I can see if something is going on between other people. But sometimes I see romantic signals as friendliness or even hatred.
So if I meet a man, an ENFJ I guess several times a month during a half of the year probably. And he is staring. But I’m afraid to stare too much back. My thought is that he is so bright, charismatic and magnetic. So probably he is accustomed to women’s attention. It would be better to hide my interest in him. Is it possible?
Sometimes it’s all one in the same.
Is this real or a hypothetical situation?
Someone who stares and you are aware of the staring, and still the person continues to stare … there could be a few things going on, here. All of them relate to this person is interested. What in exactly, you’d have to decipher.
A couple of questions - do you know this guy? Or is he a stranger you share the same space with frequently?
I am guessing you want him but are unsure how to go about it? There is a lot of variety among one type. He might be an ENFJ and have a magnetic energy about him, but he might be shy about making a move. There are many ways you can approach this situation. If you want to try hiding your interest in him, go for it. There is no right or wrong answer here. But if you hide your interest, I suggest pretending he doesn’t exist. I am assuming you’ve already showed your cards to him, meaning you’ve kinda looked at him and maybe blushed and looked away because you couldn’t meet the gaze … that sort of thing. If this is the case, pretend he does not exist if you want to hide your interest. There is a risk you take by pretending he’s not there too. He might lose interest in you if you don’t show some interest. If you want something a little more, maybe go up to him exactly at the moment he starts staring again and point blank ask him why he stares at you. Put him on the spot. Give him an opportunity to tell you you are the most curious and beautiful creature he has seen. And how you wear black socks everyday. Aren’t you the one that shared a pic of nicely packaged black socks on here? Ha.
It all just depends on what you want and what you feel comfortable doing.
Now, to answer your original question, because I see the conversation progressing here. I do hope others join in though. Even if they’re not ENFJ.
It’s all vibes. Yes, I can tell. I think I’m pretty good at sensing a fear too. And anxiety.
I haven’t put out vibes for a long time, so that also means I’m not paying attention to anyone else’s vibes. So if someone is interested, good for them, I don’t see it. They’d actually have to tap on my shoulder and say, “howdy ma’am, nice bangs”.
Now that we have a little bit more of the story from you, it seems like you want him to come to you? Like I said, there is a lot of variety among one type. Maybe he’s shy. Maybe he likes making you uncomfortable. Maybe his research isn’t complete. Maybe he just likes looking at you and doesn’t want to touch. But, if your “hypothetical situation” is true, that’s too long to wait more if you want something to happen. I’d suggest you go up to him. -Unless you like feeling slightly uncomfortable, under the microscope. I know I do. There ya go - fight your fear and stare back, intensely. See if you can make him nervous.
Isn’t romance fun?
First of all thanks for such an informative answer, @Ankh . And for remembering me and my black socks lol. I was also the persons who put a love note into the chocolate plate and presented it to the guy who had an allergy towards cocoa. So romantic is fun for sure.
It’s real situation. And I’ll try to explain if I know him because it’s little strange.
So my kid started taking piano classes in the music school nearby. Once I was waiting for her in the semi-illuminated hallway and two men came out another door. They were laughing and speaking and somehow playfully glanced at me. One of them looked more masculine and brutal and another was more boyish and romantic. Funny music teachers or whatever I thought.
Another day I was waiting for my coffee to be served in the school cafeteria. And suddenly someone behind my back made an order in English loudly. I saw by the face of the waitress in front of me that she didn’t understand and just opened my mouth to help and translate. But man behind laughed and started speaking native language. I looked back and it turned out to be the boyish “music teacher”. So you’re trolling the waitress I thought. Thanks God I didn’t play an interpreter.
In a while I saw pictures from the public event made by this school. And there was him. I could not resist and clicked on his name. It turned out that the brutal guy is our local pop star and the romantic guy is a member of his crew. Okay probably you both were expecting me to ask you for an autograph. Or at least recognize you then in a hallway.
Maybe I met him several times after that at the same place. And he stared again. Then vacation at the music school started and I forgot about this. But once during lazy mornings pages it stroked me like a lightning. In my early twenties I had a folder on my personal flash drive for images that impress me so to say. There were pieces of art, inspiring images and for sure a photo of a young musician playing drums who impressed me with his I don’t know flow state, style, energetic. I found this flash drive. And it turned out to be him, the romantic guy from semi-illuminated hallway. He changed band and slightly changed himself. But it’s definitely him. So now every time I meet him I‘m like what are you doing here in one hundred meters from the place I live??? What does Universe want to tell me by this coincidence?
What a fun coincidence!
Wait, so … do you want both of them? Cause it looks like a package deal to me! Ha.
Well you should definitely tell romantic guy about the coincidence. Ask and confirm if it’s him. Even if it’s not him, it will make for an interesting conversation. He’ll definitely know you’re interested then, or at least open to being interested.
Oh, something I’ve learned about the Universe: This is just the conclusion I’ve come to when experiencing coincidences. Sometimes the Universe sets up a coincidence so that it pushes you to do something. Other times, the Universe sets up a coincidence to test you, and hope you do nothing about it, staying convicted in your will.
No way! Even a romantic one is too much to deal.
I must think about it. But maybe not too much. See I don’t have that hard spirit to hold gaze. And I have made a lot of first steps in different relationships and it never turned out to good.
Absolutely. I think ENFJs have a keen awareness of the effect we have on a person, especially when it’s attraction (though we can very much act as if we are oblivious to it ). Like @Ankh said, it’s got a lot to do with reading vibes and picking up on subtle cues from others.
That seems like superpower.
So you enter the room with 10 people in it. And in a while (or immediately?) you know that 6 people are attracted to you, 3 Don’t like you and 1 is staring his/her phone and giving no vibes. Right?
Kylie Monogue is ESFP. Duh. I do not see her having any of the ENFJ issues. Unlike Meg Myers (@Ankh), for example. So for example:
More like INFJ and his wet dream.
Come on peeps. Can we officially type Vivien Leigh as Type 3 ENFJ? @Blake Miss Scarlett O’Hara, the brave ENFJ? Miss Blanche Dubois (opposite hottie Marlon Brando), the E3 ENFJ female in disintegration? So she played the gamut of E3 ENFJs, maybe, from their best to their worst? And it’s not that she “played” the gamut, but she WAS the gamut.
Why I bring up this woman: I think she’s a good example of an ENFJ suffering from clinical manic-depressive bipolar disorder. The disorder made her acting brilliant. In turn, the acting made her disorder even worse. Rinse and repeat. And no available treatments to alleviate her psychiatric condition except, eek, electroshock therapy. Turbulent romantic relationship with Laurence Olivier. The kind that comes straight outta them books. Those two with their shamelessly sexual love letters. Loving each other in real life. Loving each other on stage (acting side by side). She loved the idea of love to its fullest and desperately needed it to keep her going through her manic-depressive episodes. Of course, it didn’t really work out in the end. But it was a beautiful romance that kept Larry, Vivien, and everybody else thinking about it for years afterwards.
God I hate GIFs, but there you go, I gave ya one.
Great, I’ll list Vivien Leigh as soon as Tenumbra case yields all of its fruit.
Also, I’d like to inquire (@Blake) whether you have the same chilled and relaxed obamish “yes we can” attitude towards these five women:
- Laurie Anderson
- Charlotte Gainsbourg
- Eva Green
- Nicole Kidman
- Liv Tyler
Ooh, to me, they all look like ENFJs:
- Laurie Anderson = Badass
- Charlotte Gainsbourg = Weirder example, but could be. More PJ Harvey-like.
- Eva Green = Damn, those Cate Blanchett-ish eyes
- Nicole Kidman = “Hi, I’m ENFJ”
- Liv Tyler = Dark hair, pale face, signature lips. Sophisticated dark femme-fatale…
Hope they get confirmed by Blake!