ENFP relationships


so, we don’t really talk too much about ENFP on this forum.
compared to other types.
but there are so many ENFPs out there.

i was talking to my brother and I wanted to share something about ENFP.

they’re like a sweet fucked up candy.

ENFP, when they find someone interesting, they charm the hell out of that person, and when that person falls for ENFP, ENFP falls hard too, and then, when they realize the other person falls for ENFP too, the ENFP find that person no longer interesting.
and they slowly fade away in ungraceful manner.
leaving the other person confused and hurt.

they have a thing for ‘sacred’ things.
like they find people that are already taken. and are attracted to them.
and when that person becomes single, ENFP finds that person less interesting…


and they can’t help it.

how does ENFP become loyal?

they’re like a paradox.

it doesn’t make any sense in my mind.

like, if you start liking ENFP more than they like you, then they start losing interest.
but if you like ENFP less than they like you, they get kinda butthurt and become cold and distance because of their pride.

so you have to basically match ENFP’s interest level. but is that even really possible?

i feel like in every relationship one person likes the other person slightly more. or maybe that’s an illusion.

anyways, ENFP, they can’t make up their mind.
they like everybody.
not everybody, but a lot of people.

lunar describes herself as a mush a lot.

but ENFP feels like a super mush.

the more I try to understand ENFP, it doesn’t make sense in my mind.

good thing I don’t fall for people easily.
but damn if I was someone who gets all emotionally tangled, I’d be getting fucked by ENFP left and right.
and ENFP is not even direct about things. so it’s like… They just kinda leave you hanging.

like, they hold onto people they don’t find them interesting anymore, and emotionally frustrates the other person.

it’s like they enjoy having backups and rebounds but they don’t really go back to them.
they only give an illusion to go back just because they’re bored.

and their excuse is they don’t want to leave on a bad note.

their logic doesn’t make sense…

i don’t hate ENFP personally.
I like them.

they probably won’t ever come to this forum. because they don’t look for stuff like this.
they just flutter by like butterfly and land on one flower and go somewhere else to another flower.

ENFPs are fun.


My 13 year old son is ENFP. He reminded me of the whole MBTI after he took the 16 personalities test, same thing to him as a test for Hogwart’s houses. I learned MBTI and took a test back in college, but no one on internet to talk about it back then. I don’t think anyone here talks about Chinese astrology here much either, but it seems like a preponderance of ENFP children in Green Monkey year. I feel sort of bad for their teachers, except the ISTJ in 5th grade who tried very hard to make him behave and hinted he should be on ADD meds.

Even ENFP adults have a childlike exuberance that I find enjoyable. I think it’s tricksy for relationships, Fi auxiliary liked connections and authenticity, Ne dom likes to be able to explore and consider possibilities so they get stifled easily. I think ENFP kind of suits the fool archetype which isn’t intended to be an insult to them. A fool can just be an idiot, it can have a trickster vibe where someone seems like a idiot but is actually wicked smart, or they can effortlessly seem to drift through life in currents of acausality.

Life Is Fine

I went down to the river,
I set down on the bank.
I tried to think but couldn’t,
So I jumped in and sank.

I came up once and hollered!
I came up twice and cried!
If that water hadn’t a-been so cold
I might’ve sunk and died.

But it was Cold in that water! It was cold!

I took the elevator
Sixteen floors above the ground.
I thought about my baby
And thought I would jump down.

I stood there and I hollered!
I stood there and I cried!
If it hadn’t a-been so high
I might’ve jumped and died.

But it was High up there! It was high!

So since I’m still here livin’,
I guess I will live on.
I could’ve died for love
But for livin’ I was born

Though you may hear me holler,
And you may see me cry
I’ll be dogged, sweet baby,
If you gonna see me die.

Life is fine! Fine as wine! Life is fine!

-Langston Hughes


i do! I’m a White Horse in Chinese year.
welp, that gave away my age! hahha
what is yours?
my Chinese astrology pretty accurate to my description.

literally all the ENFPs I know are on ADHD meds
or just have ADHD.

they’re so carefree sometimes it’s freaking awesome.
one time I came back from jail and I told my mom about it, because she didn’t even know I was locked up. and the first thing she said was “was it fun?” hahaha

and yes they come off like a fool but they’re very slick.
like slimy.
they have excellent people skills so they make good money in marketing, but somehow they spend all their money on their friends and other things and left broke again.

i literally learned my business tactics from one ENFP, he just had terrible time and money management.
and kinda bad with numbers.

one ENFP i know is smart and he knows when to take meds and when not to.
when he’s off the meds he have all these crazy business ideas. and then he takes the med and goes on super Te mode.


Yep, biologically I am old enough to be your mother. Horse would mesh with Se dom. Year similar to sun sign in Western astrology, a lot more to it. There are some free BaZi calculators online.

ENFP is genuinely friendly but it can come off as phony. I have an ENFP co-worker and thought she was phony and annoying for months, but we’ve become pretty good friends, sometimes she does seem to act more ditzy than she really is to get out of doing work. My ENFP son was assigned to do a report with very quiet, overweight INXP kid, probably the teacher was hoping for someone he wouldn’t act crazy with. Totally backfired- because this kid was awesome! He was super funny, and had a samurai sword, and knew all about video games and anime and all the friend group had been totally missing out by not hanging out with him- because he was awesome!! (I am saying it’s a different vibe than Fe users, who might befriend someone and think, aw, this kid is pretty nice and he doesn’t have many friends so we should try to include him). I will admit the INXP probably did most of the work on the report. And that is the story of how the Green Monkey Troop became anime geeks- because it’s awesome!!

I don’t mind ENFP in things like group or partner projects; they can flit around, do a few tasks, and be comic relief. Fine by me, much less annoying than XSTJ who belabors every little detail, wants to go step be step, and makes lots of extra work. XNTP has good ideas, but they can work my nerves in collaborations too. Part of reason I think I’m INTJ rather than INTP is I use a top-down, wholistic style to projects and learning material that seems to be NiTe. I like to have a flexible mental framework for how everything should be then I can go back and work out pieces and details- or they seem to work themselves out. At certain points I may look P and scattered as pieces come together, but there is always a plan. With college classes, I’d skim ahead in text to have idea of concepts, then details would click into place when explained in class or I’d go back and figure them out later. I enjoyed and was better at applied math (statistics, physics) than theoretical math.


that’s hot.
I had a thing with someone my mother’s age before.
she was very intelligent and sorta reminds me of you slightly. she was physics professor.
she was kinda atheist so we talked about bible a lot.
she read the whole thing like five times so referencing was easy.

so you’re a dog sign? is that like loyalty?

Hahahaha. ENFP gets along with almost anyone.
they break social and cultural boundaries better than anyone.
world peace would be impossible without ENFP. [quote=“geneva, post:4, topic:257”]
I will admit the INXP probably did most of the work

ENFPs rarely do anything! but they can get away with it because they make everything fun and lighthearted.
and they’re secretly good at being a leader, without acting like a typical leader.
it’s weird how they do it. but it seems to work very well.

oh I forgot to tell you my joke.

so there’s goku, and you know about Vegeta right?

what do you call a nation of Vegeta?

a Vegetarian.

if Vegeta can do it,
then it’s Vegetable.

Hahahaha I swear this joke is funny as hell in real life if you tell it right.
I made it up and thought it was funny
I always crack up telling it.

yes. the best thing about ENFP.
I really love how they make everything not so serious.
they have this inner troll in them they can make every situation into a comedy.

yeah like sometimes Why are they so hard to tell apart.

but in real life, INTJ have it more ‘together’ in their physical presentation.

and INTP have slight quirkyness to them.

both nerdy, but different types of nerds. [quote=“geneva, post:4, topic:257”]
I enjoyed and was better at applied math (statistics, physics) than theoretical math

yeah INTJs can get theoretical but seem to be practical too.
or rather, live and practice the practical side but still enjoy theoretical stuff.

this one INTJ CEO, rich but humble,
he is very practical with money, almost too practical sometimes, meaning, a little too frugal with money.
but he likes talking about Atlantis and stuff.
he’s concluded to himself that it once existed, and he can go on and on how it did and whatnot.

oh, this is makes me think,

are INTJ women better with interpersonal relationships than INTJ men?

it seems like you understand the interpersonal dynamic better than a typical INTJ men I know.

oh and this is random, but
I was once at personality Cafe, and a few INTJ women sounds like men online.
until later they were talking about female stuff.

that makes me wonder, does INTJ women have hormonal imbalance during menstrual cycle? like getting moody and slightly illogical?


Yes, and family oriented, but eccentric and somewhat introverted too, Asian dog is like a Chow or Akita, a big friendly Labrador Retreiver might be EXFP.

Your jokes are Green Monkey approved. Puns are awesome!!

I find INTJ and INTP hard to tell apart too, sometimes possibility of ENTP in the mix too since like Blake says they may not be stereotypical extroverts. [quote=“supernokturnal, post:5, topic:257”]
this one INTJ CEO, rich but humble,
he is very practical with money, almost too practical sometimes, meaning, a little too frugal with money.
but he likes talking about Atlantis and stuff.
he’s concluded to himself that it once existed, and he can go on and on how it did and whatnot.

The last bit sounds INTPish to me. I agree both types have a geeky vibe, but INTJ is more guarded and cryptic about expressing it. INTP inferior Fe seems to kick into overdrive when someone shares or at least is interested in their interests and they do go on and on.

You have to remember I’m old so have screwed that up plenty of times and at least tried to learn from my mistakes. I took a Te approach, tried to study social skills, read Dale Carnegie, PUA is same idea with a sleazy vibe.

I have moods and feelings like anyone else and can be more at that time. I feel like it’s clouds in the sky though. I don’t need to do anything and eventually it will pass. There is maybe an observer effect where I notice I’m irritable and then realize I might have PMS and then I’ll be extra introverted for a bit and it’s fine as long as nothing too provoking. Sometimes I’ll fake emotions too. Not just trying to be friendly or interested when I’m not, but I’ll pretend to be a little mad and yell at my kids because it’s time to get serious and quit screwing around.


oh, that’s like one of the best compatible type for horse.
hey there. Hahaha

you’re not even that old. I think my mom is older than you by a lot. unless you’re about to be 60. but you don’t sound like one.

yay! I swear for the people who watch DBZ it’s one of the best pun.
and I’ve never heard anybody tell that joke. so it’s probably funny cuz it’s new to them.
I need to copyright that joke.

no, I had to almost beg him to tell me. he was busy doing his work but I disrupted him.
and he got a red on colorcode personality test.
that’s INTJ for sure. red is all about power.

oh wow. that’s crazy. that’s my dad’s favorite too… also INTJ.

and also maybe it’s because you’re a mom. [quote=“geneva, post:6, topic:257”]
There is maybe an observer effect where I notice I’m irritable and then realize I might have PMS and then I’ll be extra introverted for a bit and it’s fine as long as nothing too provoking.

i see. I think pms can be displayed differently according to each mbti type too.

i wonder if there’s a study on that.

would that be too controversial to study each women on pms? hahaha


Yes, that makes him sound INTJ, but maybe I’m not. Not the power hungry workaholic stereotype anyway. I did work long hours and invest in younger days, but now less than full time and ready to possibly segue into retirement a decade or 2 early. I’m definitely not super wealthy, but content to have a simple life with time to do geeky things, and Se things, and occasionally even Fe things. The 13 year old ENFP has been helping me start learning to play piano.

I don’t know that anyone would want to conduct or participate in that study. Does anyone even do research on MBTI or just internet conjecture and articles? Hmm, yes they do, a little. I looked it up just for fun. I am definitely some geeky type.

Want to guess most common type among a group of 400 medical students? Most common medical specialities by type? Some surprising results- and one trend that was not.


damn that’s early!

i just don’t understand the concept of retirement. what is that? like no more income?

collecting SS? no more working?

what is retirement…?

how long have you been learning martrial arts? and how did you even get into it?

my dad has a similar taste in martrial art as you, he did like Tai Chi. like slow movements and using defensive-attack.

it must be the Se-inferior type of Se.[quote=“geneva, post:8, topic:257”]
Does anyone even do research on MBTI

i do . for sure. i ask everyone’s type that i meet, or make them take the test, or figure it out on my own somehow.
and then i just gather bunch of facts about them. and then see how they are and how things affect what, and how they affect other people, how they don’t get along with certain types, etc.
it’s a fun research. live. hands-on.

whaat? can you give me a link?[quote=“geneva, post:8, topic:257”]
Want to guess most common type among a group of 400 medical students?

hmmm. let me guess…

i know nursing tends to me ENFPs.
like i know 4 ENFPs that are in nursing.

Surgeons tends to be ESTP, ISTP, and ISFP.
including paramedic.

… wait, psychiatrist i’ve seen some ENFJs.

psychologist probably INFJ and INTP?

idk so many freaking medical fields.

i’ve seen some ENTPs in PTs.

ISTJs tend to be familiy doctors.

idk. i’m just guessing now.

link me the results!


Is this the link you were talking about @geneva? @supernokturnal you did better than me at guessing some of these loool…

Do you agree with this?? I’m a little skeptical about some of them but it sounds from Reddit so you just know it’s a reliable source (Just kidding…this probably isn’t what you were talking about Geneva. :no_mouth:)


that’s hilarious ! i hope you were being sarcastic XD

i love that you said that though,

because whenever i talk to any NT types, i use that against them like it’s the Holy Bible or something hahaha

like, i’ll be like “look! it says it here on reddit!” and they stay quiet and read it very seriously like it’s the knowledge from God.

but whenever i mention bible, they just go ‘whatever, didn’t people actually write that book?’

the logic…

i just don’t want anybody to be like "look super! bible says this! you’re wrong!"
so i try to be prepared so nobody can use that against me! :grin:


“I ask everyone’s type that I meet”. Dang. I have done it a few times in the past past. That is actually how I then spent years thinking of some people as the wrong type, because they got types that weren’t too crazy for them but still off. That leads to a lot of confusion. Wait no recently I asked a relatively new acquaintance after hanging out over some months. But she looked into it and said “I don’t think this is serious it reminds me of astrology”.
You are really involved persuasive and you probabbly check what they say immediately etc, so maybe for you rather than generating confusion you’re enhancing clarity.


Exactly I’ve seen this with NT types too!! My entp friends all seem to love reddit for some reason…I don’t get it so I use reddit very sarcastically haahah…


Just save and invest, which everyone should do anyway because social security won’t be enough. I play stock market too which I do not recommend for everyone. Goal is to live off interest/profits. My ISTP husband is public university employee and can retire with nice pension in a couple years, so together we are pretty relaxed about retirement because we did smart things when younger.

Started in '93. Checked out a school close to my house and liked it for multiple reasons. Haven’t trained other than on my own for about 5 years.

Sure, it sounds fun and great experiential stuff, but I wondered if anything in journals on it. That’s what I looked up.

You did well with guesses
@iamrl, your google skills are strong. The reddit lists the results, but didn’t link or cite the study, the list just seems to pop out of the ether, but is from the study I found here.


Most common type among medical students in this particular study was ESFP. This does not mean most common type among all medical students is ESFP. It was a correlation study done in Pakistan. 200 people is not that many compared to worldwide medical students. Could be different cultural factors influencing type in other areas. A more male/female balanced group might skew differently. It sounds like they used their own self-administered questionnaire, so we can question if that typed people accurately. I think most people on this board understand that accurate typing can be very tricky.

It was interesting they seemed to confirm sensors more common than intuitives.
I am curious how official MBTI test would compare to free online tests. Seems like a majority of online test takers get intuitive although sensors are officially supposed to be more common.

Some trends in the specialties were interesting- N more likely to be interested in psychiatry, extroverts more likely to be interested in pediatrics, INFJs are more likely to be interested in surgical specialties than ISTPs. That last phrase doesn’t sound right does it? It may not be right- by time the 200 split into 16 groups just a small representation for each type, it says in text some students were undecided on specialty which lowers that number even more, and then again there’s potential mistypes, so that leaves a good chance that INFJ being more interested in surgical specialties than ISTP could be a coincidence and that trend could change with a larger pool of INFJ and ISTP.

Have y’all accurately typed a large sample size and calculated tendency for Reddit versus bible believing at a high level of significance?


Pubmed site linked above for medical journals- includes some psych, biomed, nutrition information. Usually can just read abstracts, sometimes can get full text like medical student study I cited. Probably a better source than Reddit or general internet, but remember just because a study shows something does not make it true, authoritative, and applicable to all.


Hahaaha why thank you :smile: I am proving my worth as a millennial right now :wink:

Wait esfp? I question that study…


i do see many sensors in medical field, yes. especially surgeon.
do perform a surgery, your mind HAS to be in the present and focused. so Se is very crucial.
can’t be distracted by your own thoughts.

and obviously NF types are going to be psychiatrist because they care about emotional conditions over physical.

and people who take mbti test on their own free time will be more intuitive types. so it’s not a surprise.

but if you MAKE people take a test, it is likely that in certain field you get more sensors. extroverted sensors in this case.

for my personal experience, I almost never found any ESTP and ISTP in religious settings.
I found ONE ISTP and ONE ESTP.
and I asked the ESTP guy "what the heck are you doing in this religion?"
he laughed and was puzzled at my question. and he told me his favorite alcohol beverage, and he was only 18, illegal to buy alcohol in the US unless you’re 21.

so I thought, ‘phew nvm, you’re not even religious’


Are you saying he was there for the communion wine? I think ESTP/ISTP will go along with religion for friends or family, but they usually aren’t into it.

Let’s go back to ENFP. Are your brother and other ENFPs you know really into music, especially performing? Sing or play an instrument? Seems like I know a lot of musically talented ENFPs and it is something they can stay focused on.


no our setting had NOTHING to with wine or alcohol.
we were just talking about drinking. having a ESTP bro talk.

it seems like they either play an instrument, like to sing, or both.

ENFP loves music. and they love to sing.
and they gear towards “happier” songs like pop
or something emotionally moving. Like powerful music.

I’ve seen a few in a theatrical plays.
they’re more of a theater actors than a movie actor.

because they have to be loud and exaggerate stuff.
and… sing about it.

me: what would it be a world without music for you?
bro: world wouldn’t be fun anymore.

I’ve seen other types obsessed with music other than ENFP

but I wonder if music is an NF thing. SF too. an F thing?


Yes, drama too, high school and community musicals are full of ENFPs. [quote=“supernokturnal, post:18, topic:257”]
because they have to be loud and exaggerate stuff.
and… sing about it.


… Gear towards happy or powerful music…

Yes. My enfp bro has music related career and his favorite music is where the music is taken to some kind of heightened emotional pitch. Like often he doesn’t go for subdued or subtle. Also there is a lot he gets into to do with tempo and rhythms. But above all its to have his feelings aroused through intensity.