"Extrovert" INFPs


#1

Several people I know, some of them quite well, seem clearly INFP to me but have a very practical, earthy, detail-oriented persona that’s a little hard to square. Like a stage manager, or a no-nonsense teacher. The prevailing vibes are competence and an even temper. Basically they do a good impression of ESFJ/P and might even self-identify as extroverts but have a mistiness or smoothness about them that makes those types seem impossible.

Obviously it’s hard because you don’t know the people I’m talking about, but is this a character you recognise? Are INFPs especially likely to develop their Si-Te and build their style around it (in a way that, say, an INFJ would be unlikely to achieve with their Ti-Se)?


#2

Hmm I know a woman who is not taciturn But kind of tense, almost taciturn. Very serious, good mother. Orderly. Not a very strong personality. Very nice. And she might be another infp. Her job is for the city and I asked her if she liked it and she kind of shrugged her shoulders and avoided the topic.
I think she might be an infp who has rounded out her functions maybe or maybe isfp. The only thing is I have been waiting for thewack side and haven’t seen it. Do the infps you imagine ever have a wack side. Like a silly switch of sorts? I usually tell fellow infps by the floaty conversations that go everywhere and nowhere lol. Kindred spirit feeling.


#3

Silly for sure, definitely childlike silliness that can come on. Or surprising openness to silliness in other people. It makes their competence seem a whole lot friendlier.

With male INFPs in particular maybe it can come out as an athletic or technical goofiness-- this might be why they seem rarer, they hide more successfully as ES_P or something. A childhood friend of mine who’s now a nuclear engineer might fall into that category.


#4

Your acquaintance sounds a bit like my mom actually. People who meet her can think she’s cold and unfriendly, because she tenses up and doesn’t show any of that floatiness. Taciturn and orderly are good words for it.


#5

ISo what would an infj who has developed their Ti-Se look like? In person I have seen infjs who just look like infjs almost intjs and one infj who sometimes comes across like an isfp, in flashes. They all have decent Ti I think makes sense but I don’t know what their shadow should look like if developed.

If infp is supposed to be conscience of society or some kind of indicator of spiritual health of society, then it makes sense that they have to develop their shadow to get by in society. As they encounter one obstacle after another they register the ills of society haha. If types really do have larger roles like that.

From the loonie planet, then gradually assimilates thereby … Lol nothing.


#6

As i was reading this, I thought of my housemate, who seemed INFP at first, but almost a year on I can see she is an ISFP most probably. She works in procurement, is very efficient, does what she needs to do, but has an artsy side and is fairly easy going, and not forceful.

Might it be Se and Ni that gives this impression? My housemate likes time alone, but can be a decent party type, though she doesn’t go out very often. She’s a good dancer. She is grounded but poetic. She’s fairly political and liberal, she cares. Yeah, she might do a decent impression of esfj or esfp, though she does not take up as much room as either of these types, she doesn’t command an audience in that way. She is also far more fragile - like INFP.


#7

Is it possible some of those people might actually be ISFJs? That type runs such a wide breadth of manifestations, and they often get touted as “the nicest” type.

I do know an INFP who seems very mathy and practical and (unless you know her well) gives off a really taciturn and cool air that makes a lot of people think she’s haughty or a snob. No one would ever mistake her for an extrovert, though…

I wonder if some of the actor-type INFPs might come across as more extroverted - if bringing out their Ne quirkiness and playfulness might give off an extroverted impression. But then, those types don’t seem to fit with the description of “practical, earthy, detail-oriented”.


#8

Some of them certainly aren’t, but at least one of them probably is now that you mention it. I forget how sneaky and chameleon-capable ISFJs can be. I’m not sure how many I’ve really known-- one or two that I can think of, aside from my wife. The nuclear engineer might be one too, I can’t think of any male ISFJs I’ve typed to compare him to.


#9

Hm, well…

I do feel like Si-Te things are very necessary in life. Essential to every type in a way. We all want the good things (Si) in life. And most I think have a plan (Te) to go about achieving those things.

Unfortunately, I do defer to Si and Te more than Ne. It’s a delicate dance in a way. I achieve Te things in a Ne way. Ne isn’t very respected though, so people may think I achieve my goals in a very hard-working and calculative manner (Te), but really, I am Ne-ing my way to my goals.

So that is weird, having everyone mostly see Si and Te when I am Fi and Ne behind the scenes. I feel like these two functions are unacceptable in the outer world, so you really would not see me use these functions unless you are a close friend or a family member of mines. Yes, I would say I purposely project an ISTJ vibe to the world. I feel like I have to protect Fi and Ne from outsiders.

The character you reference in your post is more the kind of person I am around strangers. If you get to know me, I would find it hard to believe you would still have an ISTJ impression of me when I am in my more natural INFP skin. Though I am known to switch from goofy to serious at the drop of a hat in my personal relationships. I don’t know, I just like being serious when it is time to be serious. I am a goofy person, but I don’t let that get in the way of my pursuit of Si and Te things.

An INFP acting ESFJ/P? Wow, I can’t say I have really done this? When I have spoken to some people on the internet, I come across more extraverted, to the point people have thought that I am a widely popular person at school. On the internet, you are anonymous and it is more one or one, which are the kind of relationships I excel in. Group relationships, not so much. My Sun conjuncts my descendant, so I do really come alive during those one on one interactions. That is when I become very extraverted, but I don’t really act like that around strangers if it can be helped.

Apparently INFPs are developing towards ESFJ, so maybe you are meeting the more balanced types? I can probably say I can see myself heading in this direction. I feel like it is a struggle to get into the groove of domesticity, so doing this would actually be quite a success for me. Lol, it is also what my ISFJ and ESTJ parents urge me towards all the time, so if I am not thinking it, they are saying. Ah, parents.

But yeah, I can’t imagine seeming to be an ESFJ/P during a first impression. That’s not what I aim to project or am even at in my development as an INFP. Um, if you see me pissed off at someone I can see how you would think I am an ESFP I suppose, though I think I probably would seem very ESTJ in that moment. My dad has a scorpio moon, so the way he gets angry is not the typical way I think most ESTJs act when enraged. With me, I think it is probably a mix of Se and Te. Loud yelling (Se) with an addressing of how the other party is wrong (Te). Hm, but yeah, not even ultra ESFP, who I think can be very acid and mean when angry. As for me, I more so get angry when my Fi has had enough and I feel the need to establish Te order. If not, then I will Ne float away from the problem if that seems the best course of action.

Anyway, I think I build my life around Fi. All the other stuff is just incidental. Like, my Fi finds Si and Te things valuable because they are more concrete. I am learning that Ne is very valuable as well and that it has really spotted me in some tough situations. So yeah, I probably seem very concerned with Si and Te things in public, but that is more so obligatory than actually wanted. If I could, I would be my true INFP self in all situations, but I don’t think that works, so I just do what I have to do in the outside world to the best of my ability and become the INFP I am when it is safe to do so. Tada, secrecy :smile_cat:.