I feel a little odd categorizing this topic as a myers-briggs topic, because I know jack-shit about it, but ya know. Hopefully you guys can add to what I’m getting at.
Fe Diplomacy -
I’m really good at it. When I have my business cap on, there is literally no stopping my mind at thinking of angles and perceptions and future actions and reactions of others. My husband even comes to me about work shit - communications with people. It’s strange to me. It’s very unnatural to him. These are things that make complete sense if I were to type them out, but you’d be surprised at how many people do not think about what they say when they’re saying it. I am guilty of this too, but it’s only when my emotions are, yeah. Anyhow, because I’m good at it, sometimes I can be hypersensitive about taking action. Sometimes it’s hard to make people feel like sunshine and roses when the product they delivered is not up to par. Because that’s what I like to do, make people happy. Here’s the issue I just had and maybe some of you Fe users (especially Fe dominant users) can shed some light.
I am the editor of a newsletter that gets circulated in our department at work. Tiny. 27 people. No big deal at all. The only reason we have a newsletter in the first place is to generate feelings of friendship through lighthearted communication, because we all work remotely. Anyways, we are in the process of highlighting each team within the department and the people who make up the teams. I asked my team to each write an article about something we do. Anyways, someone gave me an article that was almost entirely sited from websites.
So, like, um. I’m editor so that means I can edit the fuck out of it right? Which in my opinion, included deleting at least half of it and starting over pretty much, like yeah. But, I wanted to make sure it was okay. See this is Fe to me. I know it’s okay. And actually, when she sent me the article in the first place she said, “feel free to edit!”. But Fe to me, is STILL asking if I can, because this is what I foresaw: Her reading the article that clearly did not look like hers…And then her feelings getting hurt - even though she knew she gave me permission. (But see, this is all in my head!! How do I know she would be hurt??)
So (jeezus), what triggered this topic in the first place was the fact that I spent 10 minutes staring at an email I eventually sent to her. Did it sound sarcastic? Too friendly and not up front enough? Eventually, I just had to say fuck it and click send.
Fe does not care about YOU, it cares about how it sounds to everyone. Perhaps it’s a bit controlling in this way too. It does not care about the individual, it cares about the final product. The final viewing for EVERYONE. One person means nothing to Fe when it comes to a product that needs to be presented. So, I get it when I hear people say Fe is fake. Sure, it’s fake in caring about the individual. But it’s for the best. If I didn’t take care of it this way, I feel like I would either sound like an asshole OR I would send the newsletter to my superior, who would then say, “WTF, ERIKA?! I don’t have time to go through this and edit this.” So cry to yo mommies and daddies about Fe, but at least it gets shit done - the right way.
Anyone have similar experiences?