Fi Id, Scorpio and Pisces --INFJ


#1

@TinyYellowTree do you notice the difference in the flavours of Pisces id and Scorpio id?

@piggie, yes I do.

I watched this old show when I was a kid, but very much like the newer characterization with Mark Ruffalo as well.
Also loved Grasshopper with David Carradine.
Harm nobody until they insist on it.
I also found Dr. Jeckyl and Mister Hyde compelling.

So, one example of scorpio Fi is when I post, and then trash it. You can bet I said something not nice, that involves, fiery, convoluted emotion. You can bet I was giving as good as I got. And then Pisces comes in and asks, what have you done?! No, you mustn’t! Get rid of that says Fe, run away, hide, be as inoccuous as a little fish, shhh! Blend in with your school. Just one of many now, you can’t see me, you can’t and chew me up. Actually not sure what is saying what…
It is a horrible thing to run and hide after every time you are angry. To be condemned and accused when you turn green and ferocious. To condemn yourself.

Scorpio is the crashing, turbulent ocean, honest and real. Pisces is the clear, deep pool in the burbling stream, inviting, warm with the sun, enveloping. Both are infused with Ni. I see and love the stars, pisces. I am a star, scorpio.

I am so so open and vulnerable in Pisces. I startle people with the intensity of emotion, frighten them even. I hide this now as much as possible. Sometimes I can’t help it and it escapes all of my barricades. Dissociation[?] allows me to cope in public. I may look like I am unaffected or barely affected, distant or cold, but control is keeping me from the bottomless well of pain or love that may be just a breath away.
I won’t cry and do not tell people how precious they are to me, I won’t allow myself to go there until I am alone. There I can crumble and hold them dear. If I accidentally begin to tear up and my lips tremble, I will get out of there fast as I can.

I can be vicious, biting, cutting, monstrous, reprimanding, scolding and dangerous in Scorpio. Don’t make me angry. You will not like me when I’m angry.
I will run, little doubt of that, but the damage has already been done.

I’m not sure, but maybe it is Fe holds both back. And does damage control after either have got loose. Neither is acceptable. Both are tormenting.
Scorpio and pisces comingle when I write. I let both loose and tremble, imagining the consequences of being so seen.
G’night, my loves.
And also, I do what I said I do not, here and there.


#3

Oh! I love your entire post!

Yes! It’s a damned if I do, damned if I don’t kind of feeling… there’s no relief either way because both forms of Pisces are too sensitive to brave the fearlessness of Scorpio…

Yes! Does this vulnerability come from the nature of Pisces? Pisces is only capable of flowing… it allows energy to flow in and flow out… it can heal others by absorbing pain and it can heal others by being the source of comfort… but it does not know how to protect itself… it does not know how to create boundaries…

Are these the extremes of Scorpio? The dissociation, I sometimes feel, is the ability of Scorpio to control itself, being a fixed sign… Scorpio knows how to maintain a poker face to hide the turbulence… Scorpio will not let itself be seen weak in public… but it will not sit silently if something crosses the line… it will sting to destroy… Scorpio doesn’t heal through kindness… it will break you and intuitively force you to face your weaknesses… and then it’s up to you to fix yourself, build yourself back up to be a better person, or let the poison kill you…

I must say I rather enjoy the few times I’m pure Scorpio… Haha… most of the other times damn Pisces does kick in at some point to bring on the guilt trip… damage control Fe can feel real forced sometimes… Fe probably feels real good to an infj who has achieved some kind of internal stability… it takes a lot of using Fe as a spout to get to a point where it actually feels good to use it for shallow harmonizing…


#4

There is so much I want to say and sort!
Thank you first for your questions, they help me better see where I need to clarify and explore.
It felt RAW last night as I lay in bed and wondered just what I’d gone and done!
I don’t know the astrology like you do and have difficulty putting things in the right places or attributing them correctly I think, but I will go over that. I am going to have to do it in pages though, and think. I can’t think well in this little box. At least I have my ten fingers back. Ahhh, the relief!
So, soon as I can manage something comprehensible…


#5

I feel exposed every time I say something too… afraid to find out what it’s like when someone else sees/knows… trying to not be self-conscious about/affected by revelatory interaction… hmm… seems like there are some benefits of this age of intelligent machines…


#6

“Oh! I love your entire post!”

Thank you. You give me courage to carry on.

“Yes! It’s a damned if I do, damned if I don’t kind of feeling… there’s no relief either way because both forms of Pisces are too sensitive to brave the fearlessness of Scorpio…”

By two forms, are you referring to both halves of Pisces, deeper Fi and Fe? I am trying to wrap my head around Pisces Fe, but am so tired I can’t go find references to it right now to see if I am understanding.

TinyYellowTree:
I am so so open and vulnerable in Pisces. I startle people with the intensity of emotion, frighten them even. I hide this now as much as possible. Sometimes I can’t help it and it escapes all of my barricades.

“Yes! Does this vulnerability come from the nature of Pisces? Pisces is only capable of flowing… it allows energy to flow in and flow out… it can heal others by absorbing pain and it can heal others by being the source of comfort… but it does not know how to protect itself… it does not know how to create boundaries…”

By intensity in Pisces, I mean that the flow out is all consuming. It is startling to see me fall apart wholly over some tragedy or injustice. Just full on inconsolable, heartwrenching, sobbing. This was mostly when I was much younger. Another is with empathy, expressing another’s pain or emotion, maybe when they can’t cry themselves. It begins with inflow, and the outflow is allowed, intentional, a participation[?].
The latter maybe Pisces Fe? The former losing it, I am not sure can be Fe because it is said I choose auxiliary, and I can promise, I am not choosing the outpouring of uncontrolled emotion in these cases. I think Fe Pisces might feel more like consolation? Gentling? Guiding/Persuasion maybe? Poetry, verbal affection, understanding, even expressing, twinning emotion? I feel yes and no. I am trying to think back to instances and I think when I was more helpless to do anything to help, the intensity was worse by far. With something to do to help, I can pull myself together be more intentional. Where Fi Pisces is so intensely felt, it must be stored underground, let out in carefully controlled bits whenever possible.
And I think it can come out Fe Pisces or Fi Scorpio. Maybe. Maybe Scorpio comes to the fore when Pisces Fi is helpless, overwhelmed, saturated, sunk like Atreyu’s horse?

TinyYellowTree:

Dissociation[?] allows me to cope in public. I may look like I am unaffected or barely affected, distant or cold, but control is keeping me from the bottomless well of pain or love that may be just a breath away. I won’t cry and do not tell people how precious they are to me, I won’t allow myself to go there until I am alone. There I can crumble and hold them dear. If I accidentally begin to tear up and my lips tremble, I will get out of there fast as I can.
I can be vicious, biting, cutting, monstrous, reprimanding, scolding and dangerous in Scorpio. Don’t make me angry. You will not like me when I’m angry. I will run, little doubt of that, but the damage has already been done.

“Are these the extremes of Scorpio? The dissociation, I sometimes feel, is the ability of Scorpio to control itself, being a fixed sign… Scorpio knows how to maintain a poker face to hide the turbulence… Scorpio will not let itself be seen weak in public… but it will not sit silently if something crosses the line… it will sting to destroy… Scorpio doesn’t heal through kindness… it will break you and intuitively force you to face your weaknesses… and then it’s up to you to fix yourself, build yourself back up to be a better person, or let the poison kill you…”

Is it Scorpio that is stoic? Controlling the messy? My astrology is in its infancy. You are seeing connections I am not with the signs.

“I must say I rather enjoy the few times I’m pure Scorpio… Haha… most of the other times damn Pisces does kick in at some point to bring on the guilt trip… damage control Fe can feel real forced sometimes… Fe probably feels real good to an infj who has achieved some kind of internal stability… it takes a lot of using Fe as a spout to get to a point where it actually feels good to use it for shallow harmonizing…”

The guilt and remorse, is coming from Fi Pisces? From the tenderness toward anything hurt?
I hope I was not so tired none of this made sense, but I am not getting on my computer as much with guests and I don’t want to wait too long to respond, lest I lose what few bits were floating around in my head to begin with. I am frustrated with how long it takes me to gather and hold onto mere pieces. There is so much and I am so slow.

The well of Fi Pisces feels ocean like, holding so much, I don’t even know all what.
And my reigns on scorpio are tattered…


#7

You seem to see what I see too… hmm… twinning… I like that word…

And this makes so much sense! Yes! This is what I was seeing as the switch… Scorpio coming to the rescue of sinking Fi pisces… so… Fe is a conscious choice, the controlled/intentional participation, when Fi Pisces is not too overwhelming… this is us working our magic… but when Fi pisces is too overwhelmed, it either spills over in that inconsolable way you described, or, Scorpio comes along and saves the day… I see Scorpio as stoic… as more discriminating, or, capable of seeing things for what they are, rather than only feeling the pain of the situation… maybe its negatives tend to be stressed more often, like the vengeful destructive streak and all that… which is, of course, one side of it… but I see it also as strength to face, accept and understand the pain/darkness in ourselves and others… it doesn’t feel as helpless as the overwhelmed pisces Fi… it restores some sort of capacity to function… but, once a semblance of control is achieved and pisces is able to take over again, Fe pisces tends to feel comfortable only putting out Fi pisces related stuff… the scorpio Fi contents it finds unpleasant and prefers to ignore it rather than use it as the raw material for its output… so, even though Scorpio was trying to help, its contents are left lying around inside too long… and then they appear as bursts of uncalled for anger/viciousness? Because Fe Pisces refused to acknowledge it for what it was when it should have? Is this why we should consciously use Fe to express even the scorpio inspired feelings/thoughts, realise we can’t always be nice, rather than let them explode out of us uncontrollably?

Sorry… words all jumbled up and repetitive… not coming out easy today…

Yes… tenderness is the right word… that’s exactly what it feels like… oh… it makes me want to fix everything… soothe… And you are not slow… your words are helping me see what I knew but hadn’t understood…