My girlfriend’s father is a highly evolved INFJ. Ironically, I ended up being an INFJ too hahaha. That being said, I’ve given it my all to learn from another one of my type who has more experience than me.
On a base level, we are very much alike, just as mbti cognitive functions describe. The way we process information is the same, but the things we do are very different. Needless to say, before I learned from him, I was ridiculously unhealthy.
I would spend my days alone, always in pure reflection, constantly gaining information but never using it, didn’t have any skills in just about anything, and in the end I was your typical enneagram 5 infj whose nose was always stuck on the drawing board and was never really close to anybody.
That being said, I had to learn a lot from her father. I learned these few things:
Don’t wait to get good in life. If anybody calls you impatient to hell with them because all you’re trying to do is get good in life to have the power to influence those around you positively. The end justifies the means. Don’t ask for permission, just ask for forgiveness later and get good.
To build off of my first point, a highly evolved infj should learn as many practical skills as possible. Cooking, doing laundry, washing dishes, maintaining a car, keeping a stock of medicine, keeping a stock of extra food, maintaining finances, etc. Your best trait as an infj is building a warm and secure environment for others so you must learn all the skills necessary to do it, even if they are a little mundane.
Work fast by following your gut and really listen to what the situation is asking you. Screw the what ifs, it’s okay to make mistakes. The importing thing is fulfilling the needs of the situation and getting the job done.
Never ever skip over extraverted feeling. It’s not a weakness like many infjs think. You can turn it into a strength. It taught me that everyone has feelings and can’t always stick to the long term vision. It taught me that everyone needs a little criticism to shoot down their egos. It taught me that, if introverted thinking shouts at you there’s a loose end and something is not resolved, then you should resolve it right away. It taught me that if you let extraverted feeling turn into introverted feeling, then you are basically a selfish ass motherfucker who only cares about his or her morals more than tending to the specific needs of others.
At the end of the day, the biggest lesson is never ever skipping over extraverted feeling. Period. Skipping over to introverted thinking will make you an inflexible asshole. Being stuck in extraverted sensing will turn you into a fatass who eats too much. And the worst, skipping all the way to introverted feeling, will make you a selfish bastard.
It was only when I started to do all these things I started to see a life worth living. But to answer your question, can an infj come to the conclusion of love, the answer is paradoxically yes and no (how fitting of an answer for an infj i know). Because for an infj to come to the conclusion of love or true love for anything, they need to do exactly as I said. To continue to maintain and fullfill the needs of the situation. In them there is a deep need to set things right and resolve the situation in front of them. So its important to for them to apply themselves in a situation or to people that are really responsive. If change can’t happen, the infj should walk away, because they will turn into a hateful person just like anybody else.
So to come to the conclusion of true love, the infj should always apply themselves where they can truly make a difference. To go where their efforts aren’t wasted and to do it every single day, to them that’s true love rather than doing something for the sake of doing it.