I’m inspired by Erika for putting her “crying sound” on SoundCloud that I never heard. I just found out. and it’s not there anymore.
anyways. it made me think. how do you express your emotions?
- insecure thoughts/feelings
@johnonymous how about you?
I know you’re on psychopathic spectrum like me. So expressing emotion is probably shallow to none.
i think i express excitement a lot. by screaming or shouting.
I laugh at a lot of things I shouldn’t be laughing at.
I laugh at other’s pain, sadness, and shock.
it’s so fucked up. I know it’s fucked up but I can’t help but to laugh.
it makes me sad when someone suppresses their sadness. and act dull. And I cry instead. for them.
strange huh. It’s like i have great sympathy, at the same time none.
when babies cry it just purely annoys me because their sadness is not even real to me.
this is a fucked up thing I’m about to reveal…
the first time I made my wife cry, a while ago. she was sobbing, like weeping. saying “are you gonna leave me???”
she didn’t even do anything bad. or wrong. but I somehow made her feel like she was so wrong for what she did.
oh. yeah. she lied. it was something stupid. but it was the first lie I caught. And I flipped out. because I HATE LIARS.
it was such a small lie. but the fact that she had the audacity to lie pissed me off.
that’s the first time I ever saw her cry. I guess she really thought I was gonna leave her because of this. hahahah
I’m not surprised. because I preached to her so many times I don’t trust anybody and if she ever lied to me I’ll never trust her again.
of course. I trust her. still. it was such a stupid small lie.
but it didn’t matter at that point. lie is a lie. small lies turn into big lies.
so i questioned literally everything.
and said “you probably lied to me about everything!!”
her : no… I didn’t!
me: NO! HOW SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU! HOW DO I KNOW THAT?? YOU LIED ABOUT SOMETHING SO SMALL! YOU PROBABLY LIE ABOUT EVERYTHING!
Hahahaha Omg I’m such a psychopath.
anyways. She was crying really hard.
and I couldn’t stop laughing.
of course i didn’t let her see me laugh.
i don’t know why I laughed. what was so funny about it.
was it joy?
it was mixed feelings.
like it was so damn exhilarating that she was so terrified of me leaving her.
even though I had no plan to.
she was so scared to lose me. and my trust.
she started saying “now that you don’t trust me, you’re probably gonna cheat on me ”
I was laughing so hard. I wanted to embrace the moment. so I didn’t respond to her.
anyways. later I told her about me laughing when she was crying.
she understood because she knows I’m a psychopath.
and of course I made her calm down later.
" don’t you EVER LIE TO ME AGAIN! OKAY?!"
her : yes…
me : YES SIR!
her: yes sir
hugs, kisses, and makeup sex.
damn. I just opened up a whole lot on this forum.
only person I’m probably worried about is Prax hahah
she’s gonna be like : YOU SHADY PSYCHOPATH!
am I wrong for laughing?
all my family knows about this(me laughing at unusual circumstances) and thinks I’m crazy.
but they don’t think I’m a bad person.
they just don’t understand why I laugh.
and neither do I.
this is why I need God in my life.