How does one Ne?


#1

“I know I already said that Ne is an invisible function on the outer plane, similar to how Fi is invisible on the inner plane, but, nonetheless (pun?) their Ne will give them an attractive and shining invisibility, if that makes any sense.” - Blake Donovan, 2015

Actually it doesn’t make any sense to me though. How can you have an attractive and shining invisibility? That’s a massive contradiction. I think I’m an INFP and I’m having trouble figuring out how to grasp the Ne function, “Ne solution”? The problem is I’m In Love with Si so much. For me I think Si is like trying to be all Zen and stuff and reading Alan Watts and being like, yeah, all I need to do is go to the mountains and identify herbs and cook delicious food and have sex and meditate and that’s basically the solution to life. It’s like this decided perfectionism about my surroundings as well. And also resilience, as Blake also mentioned before, which I think is definitely a good thing. Oh and also obsession with getting rid of the ego?? Fucks sake.

Blake said somewhere that Ne auxiliary is like “going with the flow”. But I kind of feel like my problem is that I go with the flow too much, like for me going with the flow is kind of the same as doing nothing and spacing out and that sucks? Or am I interpreting it wrong? I feel like the combo of Fi-Ne-Si with shite Te and minimum Se in that order is kind of strange and useless…

Do any INFP’s have this struggle? Is your experience of the functions different? How do you experience and get the most from Ne??


#2

i can only write like 2 words real fast

but…

i am not sure how to Ne except in the sense of

  1. at all times be vaguely aware that people don’t seem to see things the way you do (this doesn’t feel good exactly, but keeps you out of worst trouble), so maintain a flex in you once you notice you have a rigid conviction creeping up.

  2. do Se minimums to trigger unaware use of Ne <— the type of flow that has you not in a rut, Si peace is more stationary.


#3

Thank you for taking the time to reply lunar :smiley:

  1. Haha I think that’s great advice because I tend to have this stubborn feeling that people secretly must see the things the way I do but they’re just pretending not to (i know i know)

  2. When you mean Se minimums, things like sex and dancing and stuff like in the article? Because I have no problems doing those things, I love them and also playing guitar as well, but I feel it doesn’t really add that much? Maybe Se minimums as in, going out and doing more things such as volunteering, more social events, working etc. That’s definitely helpful and makes sense. I work in a bubble tea cafe and it’s actually my favourite thing ever even though it’s just a kind of shitty minimum wage job or whatever


#4

Well, I think of Ne as playful, ethereal, dreamlike and possibly wild (this is like shining invisibility… it’s expanding outwards into realms/thoughts sometimes just beyond the reach of possibility and imagination, but in that way it seems to inspire giving chase to it). That is why I like playing around with INFP. They are dreamers in the way that their imaginations run lush and wild, but also often anchored of focused by a sincerity of Fi.

Si to me has a nostalgic, focused element to it. It seems very about the ego, the past, the particulars of memory and experience. There’s a stillness to it, but also a kind of indulgence in memory. Se is more of that in-the-moment experience, no past, no future, just being, and even relishing in being alive, a more active and novelty-seeking kind of mode. So it seems like maybe you are describing a bit of both, Olivia, trying to switch back and forth between those modes to have a more earthy/concrete kind of existence.

I think in that kind of Si-Se oscillation, in between moments of being in the moment, when you look out to the horizon or to the sky and you see the endless possibility of the world unfolding before you, that is when Ne starts becoming activated and flows. Where Si and Se is a kind of concreteness, Ne is detachment, almost ghostlike. If you are into ego-release, that is probably Ne, because it expands outwards and encompasses all of existence and beyond instead of central body focus. (Ni on the other hand is more a purgatory/hell/tangled web kind of experience, I think lol … almost a paradoxical EXTREME FOCUS on nothingness rather than Ne’s dissolution in nothingness).

That is how I think of it anyway! I think most of us kind of have skepticism to truly using our auxiliaries because you are skilled enough to wield it well but also perceptive enough to realize where all the errors you are making are (maybe this is like when an artist reaches a plateau where they are skilled enough to effectively critique their own work but in effect lose esteem because they are so aware of their own flaws).
Having inferior Te probably gives you Te-envy because you feel useless/inefficient or something, which seems to make INFP very frustrated in this results-oriented world, but people do appreciate and enrich their lives all the same with what one might deem as currently “useless”, so there is some inherent worth in the spacing outs etc. We are humans. Let us dream too.


#6

I think it probably just means to enjoy what you already love. Guilt free. Explore the world and be facinated.
From an outsider perspective, it naturally starts to just look like love for everything and goodwill toward the universe, but doesn’t necessarily mean you must love what/who you don’t haha. I think this is why INFP are often thought as “pure” or guiless when they are in their element. Wishing to enjoy what they enjoy, and can easily detach from things they don’t. (Also makes them seem in their own bubble/lala land to some, but there’s always two sides to every coin!)


#7

i have no what’s going with here. hahah… but

  1. i used to think that people displaying emotions were liars. i’m an ESTP. i used to think people cry to gain sympathy. like. only that. so i think we all tend to see it from our perspective when we see people. until we take time to learn that people are actually very different and have different brain functions. i used to believe sadness was a pretense. so… i just wanted to share that because idk if you actually heard anybody said this before.
    maybe give you an idea that people have hard time understanding each other until they actually try.

#8

For most people, if you see tears and any kind of forehead involvement, I think it would be real. But I have seen crocodile tears from some few people. And it really really really freaks me out.


#10

Hmm thank you for the advice although that comment I made was kind of tongue in cheek. I mean I know everyone sees things differently. And when it comes to emotional differences almost all of my friends treat me like a damn therapist and say I’m such a good listener and seeing what they mean etc. etc. What I meant by my comment is sometimes I have certain convictions, as the word lunar used, and I’m so annoyed and surprised when people don’t agree. Like convictions about how people should treat each other and how the world should work. I forget that the way I see things is super idealistic. I don’t know if that’s also how lunar meant it but that’s what I think.

Some people do cry to gain sympathy, my mum has borderline personality symptoms and she does it all the time, also sighing and shouting for absolutely no reason, and if someone else is in pain she’ll cry as well but in an attention-seeking way. But it’s pretty impressive that you thought that about everyone.

By the way I love your comments, you’re Greek right? You remind me of my friend who is also Greek named Dionisis, once he got really passionate talking about how he loves to give oral sex to women and how it must be done properly, like he was all misty-eyed over it it was really inspiring hahaha. Maybe he’s an ESTP too I dunno.


#11

Prax your comment is so awesome thank you! If Ne is quirkiness and seeing endless possibilities and enjoying what you love then I guess actually I’m not so lost about it. And you’re right I’ve noticed about myself and other INFP’s that people really appreciate our individuality, sometimes it even surprises themselves in how much they appreciate it! And it surprises me too. Also I do have massive Te envy and it sucks a bit.


#12

Yes that was how I meant it and even extended to self. Even views about what you should do for yourself. Or how something should be. Or even politics. Just rigidly holding a point of view. It is kind of strange because it may feel less secure to not be able to just use Fi to steer your way? I don’t think you can really ever abandon the strongest function. I am married to an intp and he is always dismantling everything coming out of my mouth and it has been a boot camp in loosening the hold of Fi…funny thing is Fi has such a strong hold it almost can’t be loosened all the way anyways. Any kind of ideal intp is like why no this and that this isn’t based on anything etc hahaha. So it is like woah ideals are somewhat arbitrary…


#13

hmm haha I have an INTP friend and he doesn’t even bother dismantling he just kinda finds me amusing :slight_smile:

Yes it can never be abandoned but I definitely see the good in loosening the hold especially if it’s showing negatively and in a super judgemental way.


#15

@Olivia @lunar @Prax @lml

Ne as an aux. for INFP primarily means seeing the world (one’s outer experience) from a new, different, alternate perspective.

Ne is a re-framing function. When I say “go with the flow”, Ne, almost literally means giving in to what is going down (with Fi dominance).

So, instead of actively trying to DO something as I suggest for INFJs with their extraverted feeling (extraverted judgment) auxiliary function, Ne aux. is more about learning to SEE things as they already are, all the things that you already know and are familiar with from a NEW perspective.

I find that INFPs get caught in perceptual ruts where life becomes too safe, boring, and predictable to them.

The answer to this is not a COURSE OF ACTION so much as it is learning to become tuned to UNIVERSAL ACTION (outside of personal control or will) and go with it.

Ne is THE UNIVERSE. The universe is infinite in possibilities. And yes, the universe consists MOSTLY of empty space.

Ne is more about this spaces between things. If Se is the objects in space, then Ne is the space around those objects.

Or, a reimagination of the possibilities for what those objects could be.

Thus, yes, I do say “shining invisibility” because Ne is what is not there in the objective world. Ne tends to ignore what is there and instead focuses on what could be there.

Ne needs novelty. Needs emerging situations. Once a situation is settled, Ne gets bored and wants something new.

Travel is a great thing for INFPs. I know many INFPs that swear by travel. They love to see different sights and cultures.

If confined to one’s local environment, then INFP needs to look for ways to find a new perspective (reframe), their current environment.

This Ne tendency exists side by side with the Si tendency of INFP, which is the exact opposite tendency of rabbit-holing and seeking refuge in an inner world of safety and certainty.

INFPs sort of need to do both, alternating the Ne-Si axis as it were. But, with Ne leading.

Hope that makes some sense. Come back at me with questions if still confused.


#16

Yes! Parenthood confines you and it is amazing how dangerous it is…

Uh reframe…maybe parenthood doesn’t have to confine you Ha ha


#18

17 posts were merged into an existing topic: Isfj: different vibes


#21

my brother is the same way. and i’ve heard most INFPs make this statement.
when they hear injustices on the news, they are baffled and upset.
and i tell them "it’s the reality man, what can you do, just don’t be that person"
and they feel the sympathy for people suffering,
but i find slight flaws in their logic, because they might not think of “why” someone is going through those.
maybe it’s the consequences they’re suffering. or i guess sometimes just unfortunate circumstances.
that’s why we need INFPs in this society!

HAHAHAHA this is too funny.
omg i’m not that crazy about sex… or… am i ? i don’t know. i guess i’m not aware how i come across.
i actually never heard ESTPs talk so passionately about sex openly. i don’t even get this open about sex in real life. this is internet. hahah

what do you mean? why does it freak you out?
my brain doesn’t register this process


#22

@supernocturnal
It can be freaky because when someone mixes actual misery with theatrics, you have to treat it all as real unless you have a way to know which is which. You are not gonna call that kind of behavior out because you could be wrong and then you are a being a monster. Calling someone out on behavior is already somewhat loaded. Calling them out and it is wrong…well why would one go there.


#23

9 posts were split to a new topic: Is there ANYTHING that an INFP is GOOD at?


Is there ANYTHING that an INFP is GOOD at?