what I have found is that I need people AS WELL AS journaling and self-help stuff.
only talking, without first looking at my issues myself, has not gotten me very far in the past, because, to be blunt, people have no fucking clue. without working on stuff with myself first, talking just seemed to make things worse because my Fe was so insecure that I just took everything that people told me at face value and then questioned everything I believed about myself. or rather, I just didn’t have a clue what I actually knew and believed. so I let everyone else tell me what my problems were.
so maybe you should first work on whether you’re INFJ at all. as an INFJ, finding out what your issues are in the first place without being influenced by others’ opinion is the most important part of self-discovery, I think.
or else your Fe will constantly be telling your Ni that you have problems that aren’t actually yours. even with the knowledge of this, I still have “episodes” where I am suddenly inexplicably angry or frustrated just because someone is in the room with me who is angry or frustrated but doesn’t know it themselves, which leads to me calling them out on something completely stupid because I am feeling what they’re feeling, have no clue about it, and Fe needs to Fe. obviously, these things don’t really end well, and I’m usually the one apologizing.
the best approach seems to be to journal out everything I can think of that’s going through my mind, really making an effort to get EVERYTHING out. and believe me, once I commit to especially write down the stuff that starts floating around my conscious mind when I stop writing for a minute and start staring into space, SHIT COMES OUT. (the not-mine stuff is especially important to get out)
and that’s the stuff I eventually need to talk about with someone I trust. aka someone with stable Fi that actually listens. they don’t even need to give me feedback, but the talking out loud does seem to be the very necessary last step to work these things out. when I’m able to talk things over with two people separately, I can completely put whatever it is aside afterwards and not ruminate about it anymore.
yeah, so. journal first, talk all you need to about it second. my opinion.