INFJs and long-term relationships


I have a drunk ESTP shadow that I’d say has netted me both of my long term relationships. I personally really love being in that mode but I’m finally coming to see it’s not very sustainable, so I’m back again at the drawing board of who am I at my INFJ core.

I think maybe when I’m back at figuring myself out, it’s a little awkward to be in a relationship because it’s like some mannerisms/habits are already agreed upon. I feel like I’d like to wipe myself back to a zero state and start all over. Maybe a relationship just makes that not as obtainable, because exploring a new person is as fresh as it gets.

Both my long term girlfriends have been ISFP and they seem to find my real INFJ side endearing while also liking my drunk crazy man mode as well.

Not sure where I was going with this, first post, just thought I’d chime in what my long term relationships have been, and that I struggle to want to be in a long term relationship, but of course it comes with it’s perks. I think it might come down to there is always more to know, learn, feel and experience, in meeting new people.




Drunk ESTP shadow… I think I get you.
One little poem comes to my mind.

My drunk Se wants to throw knives
At least to toss the darts
Forget the knives
Your Se is not drunk enough
It spilled beer all over your tablet


yup, sober first and a bit drunk then.
He says now that he likes when i drink because i’m present in the moment and with my attention in the conversation. He says that normally my dialogue is more like a monologue so he can’t really talk with me because i’m going too fast


What do you mean?


People always go on about how INFJs pair best with E-types, but I have this theory that INFJ’s are only ever understood the way they want to be by other INFJ’s. All of the great loves of my life have been INFJ’s. Can they last? Don’t know. They have all been stormy affairs. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have friends and have dated all kinds of types, but I really can’t see myself ever ending up with any type but another INFJ for the long haul.


Me too. In the end.