INFP: Amusement Is Key (For Like... Everything!)

Today I am thinking about the life I should’ve had.

Today I’m thinking about the life I should’ve been sold by Te. I’m thinking about the life I would’ve had as a Te efficient individual yo.

Oh yes, once upon a time indeed. Once upon a time it all looked so right, so fine. I had those dreams for prestige, y’know. Nothing cheap either! Yeaah, I’m talking about that high class shit. That one of a kind, only old money can buy. Yeees, I’m talking about Te. I’m talking about success. Throw in some prestige. Throw in some MONEY! Throw in some… hm, that’s odd. What else is there to throw in?

You know, the thing about Te for an INFP. It’s a function that is never satisfied. They’ll never be enough of whatever the hell Te wants for Te. They’ll never be enough success yo. There’s always that yearning for Te shit that even when you get some of it, there’s always more to be had.

It’s a bottomless hole, you see? That Te list of things to have and do is never ending! And you know, it’s not Te’s fault. No, that’s high treason to say! It actually all comes back to… INFP!

Ah, yes! The fault is with you, I 'clare! For what is the limit for an NF type? There’s always, more, more, MORE! MORE money to be had, MORE success to be achieved, MORE mountains to be climbed. For the goalpost of success always… Magically moves whenever INFP succeeds at whatever Te dream they had… As soon as the feeling of satisfaction and peace and fucking VICTORY should be had, INFP… Quite quickly, has yet… ANOTHER Te goal to be achieved.

And the cycle repeats, and repeats, a-n-d r-e-p-e-a-t-s, aNd rePEa+s, and I think you get the gist.

Oh, INFP. Searching for happiness in the outer world. Searching for peace in money. Ah, you will learn some things can’t be bought. Some things can’t be concisely and precisely placed away as a very specific and exact thing in a perfect space. Your happiness can’t be found in… That perfect Te structure that is oh so alluring and… calling out to you. You gotta, do something else!

But what to do? What to do!

Well dear friend, amusement is key!

Where is the fun? Where’s the party? Who’s laughing? Who’s in for a shock?

Activate that Ne baby! It looks like this one specific, and quaint question for anything that is too stagnant in your life.




It’s simply, “How can I have fun?”

Or, “How can I amuse myself?”

That’s it. And oh, I can feel those well adjusted individuals coming from all four corners of the Earth! So confused, so concerned!

“But JaMisa, having fun doesn’t pay the bills!”

“Fun? I’m too old to go to a park! The last swing I was on broke!”

“Fun? How do I have fun? Is it a specific activity or like, do I need to go somewhere?”

“I’m lost, what?”


Well, that’s kind of rude. Let’s meet at the middle at blahblahblah. M’kay?

The genius of this question for INFP is that…,You will find the answer yourself and it can be used anywhere at anytime.

Oh, you can’t fool me INFP! I know you don’t what someone telling you what to do! Oh yes, you don’t want ready made answers! Fool proof structures, nah!

Nay I say, that’s all a charade!

INFPs present like, “Oh tell me what to do, I’m so confused! I just need the proper instruction, the right tutelage! And then I’ll be okay!”

And INFPs can be impossible to help because they are like, wanting to find emotional satisfaction from an outside (probably Te) thing! INFPs try to put themselves in line, properly file themselves away thinking that peace and happiness will come from this. But usually, INFP is like, “I gotta make a change!” And so they burst free! Liberation at last!

Just to, find another structure, find their place, and to husk there, only to once again, repeat this infuriating process!

Because INFP is not, ultimately pleased with the humdrum. The routine-like. The orderly. The absolutes of who to be and how to be and when to be it. (sigh) And INFPs want this order because of Si pull, “I swear, I just want peace!”

disrupts peace SOMEWAY SOMEHOW

“Ack, I still want peace!”

It’s just, a dangerous cycle baby!

My proposal for INFP is to, seek to have fun or, to be amused somehow because, this will get them out of the humdrum of life and presents INFP with an opportunity to start to listen to themselves and not to the well intentioned outside World that is jacked up on Se and Te.

Because of the whole, Si-Te thing INFPs have going on, INFPs usually look for someone or some well established structure to get advice from or to sleuth their way into. And either INFP finds peace and disrupts it or never finds peace and keeps looking for this thing to give them ultimate happiness or peace.

And this all puts INFP into Fi-Si mode or has them heavily rely on Si-Te.

Which sucks because INFP in jacked on Fi and Ne.

And of course, INFP does typical thing of bypassing their aux function and forsaking that spark of fun!

So, INFPs need to get into the moment because they always postpone happiness via moving Te goalpost or waiting for whatever advice someone gives them to magically work (because everyone has a gimmick to make you happy lol).

INFP needs to put the focus back on themselves and stimulate their own happiness because I feel, INFP also has a certain amount of distrust or wariness listening to others and always checks back in to how they think something should be done (Fi-Te axis). So, INFP is distrustful of others but also seeks to listen to others. One foot in, one foot out.

And then, both feet are out when INFP gets bored!

So, for this question I am asking for INFP to use, I think it’s great because it instantly activates Ne. No more Fi-Si humdrum instantly because INFP is looking to disrupt the humdrum. Good! And no rebelliousness is activated because INFP is looking to themselves for advice, so no more Si-Te exasperation from advice givers or power structure jumping of INFP. Nice!

And, I’m tentatively saying this part, but I think Se superego is activated because after INFP has considered vast possibilities of what to do for fun (Ne), they then do them right then and there (Se? sounds like it).

But yes, there definitely is the physical, doing part that is apart of the answer to the question!

And so I have more refined question!

“What can I do to amuse myself now?”

Or maybe,

“Right now, what can I do to amuse myself?”

And when you find that one thing to do, do it! Right then and there! Don’t delay, hurry!

I know there are INFPs in jobs they don’t like, and while ideally INFP finds a job that fulfills this constant need for amusement and excitement, I think more realistically, INFP should try to have fun in whatever they’re doing because that will keep them from feeling too stagnant and maybe leaving a good thing (well, for the most part lol).

And let me be a little more clear.

When I say INFP should amuse themselves, I’m not saying they should be overjoyed at whatever activity they are doing. It doesn’t have to be this, bowling over yourself from having so much fun thing. It’s just about ending the monotony and eventually having this question as a perpetual mindset or intent when doing something. In that way, it doesn’t really matter how stuffy or boring an environment of activity is, INFP will find a way to have fun. And well, I think that is the main gripe of INFP that usually takes a more, tangible disguise as a “bad job” or… bad whatever.

It’s the false equivocation that INFP makes that “outer thing I do should equal inner happiness”.

When really, INFP has to stop taking themselves out of the equation and needs to take a proactive approach that looks like “Happiness is a state I can enter into at any time or place whenever I feel so inclined to do so.”

Hm, sound kind of spiritual. Hope that’s not a turnoff lol.

But yeah, okay. So this is a checklist of what INFP needs for, an instant burst of happiness or instant Ne aux activation!

1.) Ask yourself how to have fun now.
2.) Find answer to how to have fun now.
3.) Have fun now.

And for 2. It doesn’t have to be something super dramatic (NF god damnit!) It could literally be something as simple as rubbing hands together. Lol, really it can be THAT simple.

But yeah, it’s like the answer could be physical movement of some kind (I mean, to happen quick it probably is lol).

Because when I ask myself this question throughout the day, I usually just smile or wiggle my fingers or sing. Just instant disturbance of whatever peace is making me feel super bored. Instant giddiness from doing something a little naughty or disruptive (lol, how boring am I?).

Okay, this is just my experience but everyone else, does this question seem plausible? I changed it like three times during this post lol, but yes, what say you?

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From my point of view at least, this describes my husband SO very well, in a nutshell!
And he kind of naturally figured this out, or really just kind of lived it. He surfed and rode motocross as a kid, hikes, bikes, did [I think] Aikido before I met him, walks -wherever he finds himself after work, night walks from here, skateboards, runs errands just to get out of the house… and my only objection is that he hurts his back and then wants to do these things still or too soon.
With some assistance and encouragement he decided to learn to fly almost two years after we met and now his job offers him days and days of Ne exploration. I would say he chose well though it is still a job, and often he would rather be home amusing his Ne with, yes, anything fun! He sits us down and says, what can we do for fun? What do you want to do? What does anyone want to go do??? Because he’d like as much as possible for it to be all of us having fun.
But the beginning of your post, talking about Te and money, that really struck me. It seems to have him by the gonads, Te that is. He struggles and strives which is of course what anyone does with their fourth function… but also walks around singing things like, ‘I wish I had a million dollars, if I had a million dollars!’ Kind of reminds me of the song…

I won’t go here into the fact that Te triggers the hell out of me, that is for the other thread I’ve been avoiding…
I will just say he has so often lightened me with his Ne.

A mighty awesome post, btw!

Woohoo! :partying_face:

I don’t have any external examples. However, I will give you an anecdotal example! My boyfriend, who I think is INFP with ENFP rising/moon (or flip-flopped, albeit less likely) would probably resonate with a lot of what you said. He’s a bit different from other INFPs, though. I think partly due to his astrology, he has huge issues with Te. Unlike other INFPs who I think can be quite obsessed with orderliness, INFP homeboy is a chaotic fucking mess, and controlling it is, well, beyond his fucking control! And that often ends up in persistent guilt, as INFP boyfriend wants to do the right thing so fucking badly but can’t ever keep himself together. Like sleeping in accidentally. And completing tasks on time? Motherfucker, please. Time management is not his strength, although he is keenly aware of time and respects all things to do with time, cleanliness, and organization. So his failure to meet Si-Te standards causes him to feel stressed out and guilty 24/7.

But INFP homeboy thankfully knows how to engage in Ne! For example, fun? Party? Laughing? INFP boyfriend grew up in a town infamous for its conservative attitude, almost fascist actually. LOL. I think growing up in that kind of environment partly contributed to his depression back in the days, always feeling like a misfit, a mopey loser with long hair that made all the conservative elders in his town glance at him disapprovingly! But homeboy’s got wanderlust, so he decided to move out of his home country and live in a different one for his studies. And in this new country of his, he began to feel more free to explore a new culture, a new life, and meet new friends who became his family. By day he was researching, by night he was partying like a fucking animal. And before, he thought he was real serious.

I mean, I have pictures of his old teenage self. He looked like a really, really sad Atreyu. So serious too. Now I compare those with his party pics in his new world, like one in which he was wearing some other girl’s bra and licking his armpits. I mean, WTF! But it was the time of his life, and all the fun and partying and sharing his heart with other quirky, misfit friends really healed his problems.

Yeah, INFPs. You guys CAN be party animals - the life of the fucking party. Sometimes, a drink might help. (Um, I hope I’m not being a bad influence or anything.) Think of that archetypal nerd/geek that everybody laughs at school, and then one day at a disco, nerd/geek stuns everybody with his freaky dance moves. I had an INFP friend (not my boyfriend) who even wrote a play script revolving around this geeky closet-dancing-diva archetype. And indeed, she herself whilst looking very nerdy (had a lisp, tall and skinny, a bit spotty, and bespectacled) had some fucking moves.


And guess what? INFP homeboy can DANCE to! But not the type of dance in which you have to follow the beat and learn each move step by step. He’s pretty poor at consciously controlling his body. However, when INFP takes a fucking pint…or two…or three…or…four…hehe, motherfucker can MOVE. He’s all freestyle and flowing, high energy. Everybody would be crowding around him.

Like at our research institute Christmas party. Think we scientists are dry ISTJs? Think again. Scientists are geeky party animals. Jesus. Lots of drinking and dancing, followed by late night karaoke session at 2am in the lab. And INFP homeboy got all brave in his inebriation and started singing Mark Ronson’s Uptown Funk in front of everybody and then midway through started BREAK DANCING. And he was GOOD. Everyone was cheering him on, including resident ENTJ asshole I have to put up with on a daily basis. And ENTJ asshole congratulated me for dating such an “impressive keeper.” All this harcore dancing, of course, resulted in INFP boyfriend “spraining” his ankle :roll_eyes: once he slipped into his drunk-depressive phase, limping around at 4am in the institute really melodramatically while drunk scientists were probably still singing karaoke or fucking in the shower rooms/microscopy rooms…or something like that.

So lesson being: A drink helps. Which could lead to some serious fun and freestyle dance, great memories shared by likeminded friends. And friends really mean something to INFPs. However, don’t get too drunk, lol! I don’t want to contribute to alcoholism.

Part 1 ends here. Part 2 continuing…

A drink helps. I just wait till everyone’s gone :rofl:

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So partying and dancing and just being a clown?! But that’s just so useless!

Well not quite. First of all, I mentioned friends. When INFPs find friends who they really value, INFPs will build an emotional fortress that will help them stay strong throughout all conflicts. And yes, partying is going to help INFP build rapport with friends. It will bring the INFP popularity. INFPs when too focused on being virtuous and being a good little task-keeper are not as charming as when they are open to showing all their fullblown quirks. So having fun with friends is going to help INFPs and INFPs should find friends who like to have fun as well! Perhaps not Se dominants, but Ne dominants or Ne users who are intelligent, quirky, and fun-loving.

And friends are going to give INFPs “luck,” which I think could be a skill/talent: The luck that leads to scientific discoveries. The luck that helps photographers capture a rare moment…Or the luck that leads to connections paving way towards solutions or opportunities! The Harry Potter series often emphasizes the importance of friends throughout the series. It’s not a one-man journey; it’s about friends and family. And through rare and unexpected occurrences, that one friend or two just might be the ones to get you out of deep-shit. Also, in a field based on Ne-discovery like mine, making friends is a very useful talent to have. It’s more than just business connections. When you have people who truly care about you, the discussions are better, more passion-based, and the people really make every effort to help you out of a sincere desire.

This leads to work contexts. Yes, have some fun! Make friends at work! Have tea breaks! Have lively discussions, even off-topic conversations! Tangents and serendipitous moments will greatly benefit an INFP. It’s a pity that the American work culture greatly looks down on “breaks.” It’s always about work, work, work, work over there. But it ain’t so in Europe. RELAXATION and enjoying the moment are part of the European culture. Tea breaks, for example, are encouraged for stimulating discussion or making connections. INFPs need a working environment that would encourage this attitude of, yes, “smelling” the roses as Tom has mentioned elsewhere.

INFPs may feel like they have to be super productive and efficient and virtuous at work, but I would discourage it. INFP homeboy is always whining about how guilty he feels for not doing X thing right or waking up late or working like a mess. However, ironically, homeboy is very good at what he does precisely because he does none of what he thinks he should do. I haven’t seen many “productive” INFPs that do well, because it closes off their Ne. INFPs should be open to those rare moments that give them joy, either through fun conversations with smart friends or capturing rare instances that make INFPs believe in magic. I see homeboy mentioning the word “beautiful” or “magical” many times. Or conversations may often lead to new insight or emotional bond-making that would never be gained if INFPs were too busy trying to “get something done.” Tangents are INFPs’ best friends! Same with me, actually. I think I have an NP moon subtype, but I might be off.

And INFPs’ concept of magic does not have to be some spiritual woo-woo shit. It’s probably, yes, tied to attitude and enjoying the moment. Stop and see what chance brings you. For example, we live in CAT-LAND. This whole place is populated with cats and Ti-ish cat-owners. My lovely neighborhood has many stray cats that come to visit us in the night after we come back from a hectic day in the lab. It might be 2am while we are putting our bikes away and a random cat might peek its head to check what we’re doing in the bike shed. Moments like that make INFP homeboy happy. (And me too! I’m soft for dumb, cute things) “Cats are magical creatures,” he says. Like you can never predict when they’ll appear or disappear or if they decide to give you attention or not. But in moments they DO go to you and say “hello,” INFP boyfriend gets all cuddly inside!

BTW, TRAVELLING. DO IT. INFPs love travelling, especially with beloved friends. Homeboy keeps reminiscing about his trip around Asia with friends, getting to know about cultures very different from his own. Like trying out really weird food, such as rats or snakes. Getting drunk while at it. Taking pictures of unusual wildlife over there. Writing notes about his journey, and perhaps two years later, typing up all his notes into an official Word Doc to commemorate his 2nd anniversary of his grand trip and sending it to his friends to reminisce. Going to new places and then reminiscing about it later seem to be homeboy’s favourite hobby.

So there ends the verbal diarrhoea. Sorry!

I think that’s why I have fun in math club. We’re all bouncing ideas around freely exploring and I end up solving hard problems even finding better solutions than the NT profs (it’s a feedback Ive gotten several times “this was the best solution” and they seem surprised). But can’t seem to do what it takes to do well career-wise. Resumes interviews structure selling yourself compete…no can do.

Travelling is the best. Infp’s favorite thing is to imagine what it is like to be someone else or live in another culture. New and different is the entry to away from the known.

Exactly. I often find NTs admiring INFPs, always saying “That INFP, she’s very smart.” Discussions are a great way to open up INFPs’ potential. Has to be relaxed and informal though.

:thinking: I think it’s possible… I think it depends on the career and what they’re looking for. …It also helps to take a feelings-based approach to help sell your self. NFs can really hack this approach to their advantage. Or sometimes genuine enthusiasm is enough to move the employers, depending on the career. Which ties into the whole feelings-based approach.

Yeah. Enthusiasm is always helpful. (Rather than all that Te shame)

In my field, I know plenty of people who would prefer to hire the creative and enthusiastic over the extremely competent.

If I were an employer, I know I would! :smiley:

@JaMisa Still digesting your post. I have forgotten how to be infp I need a manual.

,you’re so cute.

Hey all! Been away cause of general demand of life.

Maybe it was selfish of me to make this thread on the day I moved :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:.

But yes, onto the responses!

OMG! That song! Something about it makes me feel seen.

When he started to say all the fantasies he had if he were rich. Yes! That feels like Ne-Si axis being activated by inferior Te. Ah, so interesting. And then I feel that desire triggers INTJ id to do and devise a concrete tunnel-vision plan to achieve this.

Lol, and then the Fi-Ne of INFP kind of seeks to feel that inner pleasure with what they have attained. Then when it’s not present, they can leave that drab thing dramatically and maybe not see the pattern in this behavior (from Si tertiary maybe) until they finally Ne enough to seek more than what they originally wanted.

I think it’s something about INFP that makes them chase the feeling through really tangible things versus chasing the feeling in spite of tangible things. Maybe it comes form conditioning when young (cause Lord knows I was taught happiness comes from money! And then typical Taurus acquisition of wealth I have lol).

Wow, that’s awesome! That’s me when I’m with friends. I love to incite spontaneity and hijinks with them. INFPs motto might be, “Let the hijinks ensure.” Or at least it is when Ne aux is in action.

Ah yeah I see myself in this. What’s funny with INFP action is that it always seems to happen in a very Ne way. Like, Te things can be succeeded at but it always in this very spontaneous, by the skin of the teeth, risky way lol. I don’t know how we can seem like we have it all together at times but I think that’s just luck. Like, I am a pretty slow worker but whenever I’m working really hard the higher-ups always seem to magically walk by and it gives me a somewhat undeserved good reputation lol. Thank you Lady Luck!

I bet your husband might have a sharp demarcation about when and what should be fun. Compartmentalizes or just lets previous experiences inform him how to be. INFPs are super passive but I think if we just go into the World with that adventurous spirit then we will find fun versus kind of having to put it off or only do it at this place at this time.

It probably relates to being an Fi dom, like some emotional inhibition that prevents INFP from letting loose. Once that is released (for the most part lol), I think INFP can overcome self-consciousness and just have fun. Like, no one is typically judging us as much as we judge ourselves being Fi dom. And once that is realized, INFP can liberate themselves from their own cage. Hm, well that’s kind of been my trajectory so far for the MAJOR Ne restrictions I had growing up.

Ah thank you! I love your post as well, I never really find INFPs IRL (I probably look too SJ for a natural meeting lol) so I’m loving the stories everyone has about INFPs they know!


Damn, he’s being so hard on himself! Whenever I do bad at Si-Te stuff I just feel stressed or don’t care lol. With INFPs, I think we’d do well to realize our method to do things is so not orderly. It’s haphazard! That was the way I always did Si-Te things, with a burst of creativity to stop procrastinating and do! But yeah, I feel we are inert until we randomly are activated to work. That’s like Ne-Si axis at work.

That tipping point is so unpredictable though. Having all that Si-Te stuff codified in his Fi isn’t bad, I actually relate to that all lot! From my best estimates, my mom is an ISFJ and my Dad is an ESTJ. So Si-Te was very strong in my youth and I almost probably could’ve tricked myself into not having Fi or Ne if it was just left to my parentss influence lol. But I came to have friends and have all those repressed NF ideals and fantasies realized at school!

I bet if your boyfriend dealt with things at they came up and had loose standards for what he aimed to do during the day while aiming to have fun, he would flourish! But loose standards are key, or INFP will Fi judge themselves so hard (i.e., if the similarity continues, he probably cried in his bedroom a lot and walked out like nothing happened. YIKES! Youth was fun for me lol.)

Me too lol! Those SJ values coming in for the kill!

No lol! I’m still trying to find my signature alcoholic drink. I know I like sweet things (love soda). I also like Redbull. So I’m thinking Redbull and Vodka might be up my alley or some alcohol with soda mixed in! But I also can drink a beer just fine lol, so I should stop trying to be fancy.

That’s so me lol! OMG, I feel so called out but in the good way!

Funny moment I had in middle school involved me at a party during school. You had to pay five dollars to participate and since it was like, maybe during the last hour and a half at school, people readily paid money to be able to have fun and not be in class.

So me and my friends decided to go! I was all excited. I think it was my first party at this school since I transferred from another middle school, so I had a lot of preconceived notions for how this party was gonna go.

The only thing I was right about was there being music, people, and food! The oddest thing to me was that… no one was dancing. And I thought to myself, “What a terrible party!” You see, I had went to schools that had a mostly Black population all my life, so the parties at school were always filled with intense dancing and if you weren’t dancing, you’d literally be forced to the bleachers or like, be against the wall with some random girl twerking in front of you intensely lol (ah, the things I’ve seen as a babe!).

So yes, I thought this party would be lit! But when me and my friends walked into the lunch room, everyone was very relaxed, talking in their cliques. And so I’m disappointed, but whateves, or so I thought!

Turns out, the lack of dancing at this party bothered me so much that I ended up dancing, and that’s something I rarely do (in public!). It’s so bad (and apparently runs in the family) to the point that when I was at my great aunt’s wedding, barely anybody was dancing. Lol, the DJ had to bully most people to stand up and even move (I’m sorry great aunt our family doesn’t deserve you).

But yeah, I danced at this party and it was a fucking riot. A circle formed around me and as my body spontaneously moved, some people stood beside me and started to imitate my dancing. So it looked probably even more epic lol. And like, everyone was cheering me on lol.

Ugh, you wouldn’t believe the song choice though. It was Baby by Justin Bieber!

So when the “I’m gone” part at the end played, I quite literally left. And everyone was looking at me all disappointed and I even think someone asked me where I was going lol. I mainly left for dramatic effect (gotta match the words when you dance sometimes lol) but I also had to use the restroom.

When I came back the circle dispersed and everyone was just talking again lol… I felt too exasperated to just dance again so I just went to my clique and started to talk as well (So Jamisa, wut just happened x 3)

What a sellout lol! But yeah, that’s one of my most epic middle school memories.

WHOA! What an epic story Scholps! This morning I specially bought my mini speaker into the bathroom and had at it while I was in the shower lol. The inspiration is real!

This is probably why middle school was so fun for me. I had a great circle of friends who I really could have fun with (for the most part lol). It was an ENFP, INTJ, and an SP. Really odd ragtag of people who I liked and who I brought together just for the sake of hanging out.

SP friend was even smart enough to have fun outside of school! And so there were some meetups outside school for fun. Gee, that was awesome. I always was able to have Ne aux flourish with friends because my family really left no room for Ne lol. There was a heavy emphasis on Te, Se, Si. So I was very repressed on my own, but then I would meet people at school and kind of be the “real me” so to speak!

But yes, that was the last time I made such a valiant effort to have friends. I would like to start that up again because surprising thing about me, I actually have gone out of my way to not have friends for the last couple of years (since, 2016 I think). Which was insane of me to do, but I felt somewhat angsty about friends at the time (Why do my friendships never last? If I’m always gonna be left alone I’d rather be alone damnit!).

Plus higher need for introversion from just, bubbling subconscious forces ready to explode inside of me and give me a time in all this SJ nonsense I was inundated in (and that feels like the tip of the iceberg lol). But I’ve had a lot of radical reconstruction as a person since that time and now I feel I can stop being so needy of others (in EVERYTHING, lol, I was kind of the worst in that regard) and just bring that Ne excitement without it being tied up in so much other stuff.

Eep, that will be exciting! I had some warped ass logic lol but friends are very much needed at this point in my life. The introversion storm is over!

I’m so bad at this. I think Saturn in 6th house makes me just want to work and leave. I was very against socializing for some reason. Maybe SJ mask being too amped up (I will say for the record I may have ISTJ rising, I really need to look into this concept more lol). Plus me always picking jobs I hated. I’m trying to at least pick an okay job so that I can be more open for friendliness lol. But I really am such a sourpuss. Tryna hide all that NF weirdness! Just to arrive at that openness being the best option. Oy vey! The circles I run around myself!



I’m right there with ya Schlops, I must leave the Motherland and see the World (or maybe start with this new city I just moved to and work my way up to bigger adventures!)

I really can’t believe myself, I kinda stagnated for these last couple of years and after… The Deluge shall I say, I kinda have been granted a fresh start and am just wanting to run run run because everything went to shit but better things came out of that so I should just seize the moment and-

Well, basically I got the point. Life is for the living, so live!

Everything you said was so useful and fun WUT. Like statistically that should be impossible but you hit everything on the head in such an engaging way. I’m gonna heart ya just to put my money where my mouth is (and lol, you even got some good stories outta me too lol, Schlops takes all!)


Ugh, tell me about it. Dreaming is so fun. Then you have to do but wait, there’s another dream that must be dreamt.

No what lol you being an INFP helps me be an INFP and you can’t break the circle!

(Or I become an ISTJ, so I’m told.)

Woof! Thank you lol.

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Do I remember right that your mother is Isfj? Do you think it helped alleviate Si Te guilt (if she is isfj). Isfjs are kind of haphazard too.

Okay sorry had I read the whole post BEFORE replying … :slight_smile:

Wow estj dad. You must have a really good feeling for estjs.

I think a placebo would work really well too. Someone gives you water and tells you it’s some kind of exotic vodka.

Lol no it’s fine. It was a nice coincidence!

Yeah, she was very reassuring. If I got a bad grade is school, she didn’t yell at me or give me a whooping, she would just smile and said I’ll do better next time (in a genuine “I believe in you!” way).

Even though I felt a lot of internal pressure to do well, she didn’t really add on to that. I felt I wanted to make her proud of me, and she wanted me to do well, but I think I added her happiness to Fi values and sought to please her in the best way I could (she always loved when I got good grades, so that became a thing to do).

But yeah, Mom was a well of inspiration and good feelings when it came to me just being so dogmatic about Si-Te stuff. I actually could technically Ne around her, I just felt such a weight and introversion during childhood. Remembering the worst over the best kind of vibe.

With my Mom, it was probably when she was quiet when she worried me. Or cried. But no, she was robust and can do and instilled that into like a motherfucker!

I just, had too much receptivity and was self-abnegating when wanting to please her. Y’know, we never got into an argument until I was like, 17 maybe.

Oh, ISFJ getting you at the roots indeed!

Yes, I was that “trained” by her so to speak. Oh my!

She’s great! We just have a complicated relationship at the moment where I’m pretty unrecognizable from how I used be as a kid and we are more on equal footing with power (she’s shook, basically). So we are dealing with that, and it was only a couple weeks ago where she realized that I don’t really need her to have such a strangle hold on me (progress!).

Back to the point! She encouraged Si-Te behavior but I don’t think she realized I was repressing so much of myself to really be able to carry through. The main activity that triggered this Si-Te thing for me as a youth was academics. I did well but she didn’t see the weird emotional psychological thing I had with academics. So, she was kind of, to a certain degree, an innocent bystander in my mess.

Kind of lol. He was running amok with Se id for most of my life. So strongly to where he might be ESTP. We look so much alike make he could be NF lol.

But that aside, he’s mellowed out in the last couple of years and is moreso focused on Si things (but boy did he take a while to come around!)

Lol, so basically all these years I haven’t had technical friends I’ve been MORE than preoccupied with fam stuff :upside_down_face:.

You know the worst drink I’ve had so far?

A shot of patron. JESUS! I couldn’t even sip the drink it in one go! I had to keep processing a burn in my throat after each sip. Almost made me swear off of alcohol (cause I really only like sweet or fizzy drinks).

I’m ready to be that person at a party who’s like, “I just have water in my cup. Yeeeah, I don’t really drink. Nah, I just don’t like the taste really. But yeah, you do what you want!” The passive-aggressiveness people like this have, UGH.

But yes, I am still in search of, what is more than likely a cola rum (that could be nice!) combo.

What does this mean? How did the amok look?

I love sweet drinks too and I don’t care what people think about that. I’m not drinking whatever to look any certain way. I even ask for sweet wine. Plum is my favorite.
Hate whiskey.
Some of the drunkest I’ve ever been though was when I asked a bartender for something tall and sweet and was given a Long Island Iced Tea. Lesson learned.
And I thought it was a lesson because I neglected to tip the bartender for the first drink. My bad.
I also like beer but mostly dark malty types.

Well, basically seeking to please whatever base desire he had without any regard for who was hurt in the process.

So it looked like promiscuity which lead to infidelity (at times), eating out all the time which lead to him being overweight, and selling drugs which lead to him being in and out of prison.

Just that whole, “What do I WANT” and then the pursuit of that when it lead to harming others and himself. Se id can be somewhat self-destructive I wager. Consumed by desire.

No, slave to desire. That’s Se id running amok in my mind (and life).

If I’m wrong, ESTP would be my next bet. My Dad has lived the fast and furious life, but he’s somewhat retired from it. He’s inundated with it. Like, it hovers around him, not fully suppressed or negated. That’s why I would say he has Se as an id function and not as a dominant function. I don’t think ESTP would be destroyed from their base desires the way someone with Se id would be.

But that’s the id function for ya, threatens to usurp the ego!

Also, love the tidbit about the drinks! I will definitely keep it in mind!

My estj boyfriend had runaway drinking binges. It was at parties. Maybe Se id related. He hurt his health.

Lol, that’s exactly what my INFP brother does.

In a sober state he usually just makes some funny moves now and then, kind of trolling around. It ALWAYS makes me laugh my ass off. I love it.

Now when he’s out and had a pint of two, he slips into a more intense state of flow and yeah… people on the dancefloor crowd around him.

Ooh, I know this casual melodrama of Fi dom men so well! :smiley:

Just wait till he sees a spider at home. :roll_eyes: