I’m not really sure about anything, really. My type code is from consultations with Blake. I never typed as an INTJ on the MBTI test. The very first time I took the test I actually got an ISFJ. Which at the time made sense(only to me). Then it was a switch off between INFP/and ENFP. (Though I think it was because ENFPs were cool at my school, and my subconscious just reacted to it.) But the more I read about INFPs, it didn’t feel right. They were genuine and had a ‘light-air’ quality, and I was manically tortured at that point. So I contacted Blake and we went through the ordeal. I pose the question of what am I between INFJ and INFP. Mental breakdown, yadayada Now I’m a INTJ; maybe.
When I look at Prax, I think she’s more organized and more level-headed than I am. A lot of what she writes comes off as well-thought out with a hint of detachment. A “matter of fact” sort of thing. Or at least that’s my perception. I’m not as coherent or lucid in my responses, half the time I’m unsure if I have anything to add to the conversation. Her art is also very congruent and consistent, which is something I lack. I have to rotate different form of expressions or I’ll become stuck and irritated with it.
Your reasons for me being an ISFP is probably more substantial than anything I have.
Base on the description in the link, I don’t know if I agree with the Pros, but I do agree with the cons. Especially the fluctuating self-esteem and unpredictableness. I also went back and re-read some of Blake’s posts on ISFP and Se in general.
[They kind of see themselves ultimately as some rogue that only belongs to themselves at the end of the day. They are not whiny about their ideals being broken like some NF type.
Many ISFPs are dropouts from things. They quit the system or group when it becomes too perverted and distorted from its pure beginnings. They just won’t have any part of it.](https://www.stellarmaze.com/isfp-bullies-or-the-bullied-or-both/)
I believe that I only belong to myself, but I’m also super whiny about my ideals being broken. I also am the first to drop out or get bored of a role, but then I meander around and can become resentful. Hopefully, I’m not taking it out of context.
I am deeply moved by Se. Or fascinated. Or obsessed. There are certain things in life that have become really simple. Like, I want to be pretty. I want people to think I’m pretty. There’s value in that. Or sex is healthy. Sex should be healthy and there’s nothing wrong with it. (But I am strictly monogamous). At some point, it came down to the pure enjoyment of youth. I’ve agonized over it for a long time. What is pleasing aesthetics? Who am I trying to please? What’s the point of it all? Is it worth it to be beautiful if it all fades? Isn’t that just tragedy? If it’s not forever then it’s not worth it. But I’ve changed my mindset a lot. Pleasing aesthetics brings joy. The point is that it’s fun. It’s only worth it because it’s finite, and all we really have is the here and now. So basically I’ve adopted, if I like it, fuck it, I’ll go get it. Who’s going to stop me? And can they even? If so, damn. If not, well now I’m content.
Not sure if any of that is useful, but I tried! Also sorry for derailing/rambling about myself. I intended to be more clear, but I’m bad at sticking to plans. Even writing outlines. Lol!