Istj esfp interaction

I think I met a couple that is istj male plus esfp female. Then that’s when it hit me that it’s a combo I’ve never wondered about. How would that work?

Funnily enough, my next-door neighbors are exactly this pairing (ISTJ male, ESFP female), so I have gotten a chance to wonder about it.

My take on it is that she is very highly-sexed but also very sexually repressed because she’s married to this totally stereotypical ISTJ male. He works a lot (electrical engineering of some sort), never smiles, is faithfully religious and a volleyball coach. I can tell he loves his daughter who is now in college (ENFP). I think she is the only thing he really cares about.

She talks a lot. If she catches you whilst you are walking into your…fucking house, and you give her inch…she’ll take a mile. Most of her talk is banal and superstitious. (They’re both religious). She talks shit about him too. I’ve heard her say that he is stingy with money. He won’t spend any money on her, keeps it all to himself. Something like that. Gossip, gossip, gossip. I see a lot of inferior Ni-izing in her, projecting negatively into the future and issuing warnings about things going on “down the street”.

My impression is that these two distinctly do not like each other. I think it is the husband who has essentially starved the relationship of all…juice. I feel bad for her. He is very regular in his habits. He walks the dog when he gets home. If he sees me doing something dutiful (like yardwork or attending to my car) he’ll say “Hi”, like I all of a sudden exist to him. But I get the feeling he doesn’t approve of the way I live.

What pisses me off is when I see him in his front yard and I say “Hi” and he says nothing. Shit like that really pisses me off. When people don’t Fe me back I’m like fuck you.

The ESFP wife has exactly what you think Fe id would be like. Big bug eyes with pressured speech and hypomania almost, like she can’t stop talking once she starts. I don’t like that either. Get your Fe right people.

Their daughter is precious. She’s an ENFP good girl (think Ione Skye in movie Say Anything. Her dad in the movie is ISTJish too).

Theoretically, the ISTJ and ESFP should be one of the better intertype combinations. By my lights, it would be the best, similar to how I’ve said INFJ and ENTP would be the perfect match. It’s the same math.

In reality…yeah, not so sure. :roll_eyes:


Thanks for that description. I have no life so I was imagining a movie where your istj neighbor was like looking at the height of your grass you know with some kind of stare or something while you are doing this very intuitive read of him and he’s got not a clue. Teehee.

Yeah, he’s a pain in the grass. :joy: