Life's Difficult(?) Questions


Talked to one of my buddy now that coaches "Life Changing Program"
kinda like educational program where they change your lifestyle.

and for sure, i can see that my buddy changed for the better,
he admits that he was a liar, schemer, people-pleaser, a thief, cheater, and self-centered.

now he is happier than ever, have a purpose in life, wants to give back, and change everyone’s life around him.

i thought, people that are ‘happy and peaceful’ seems to know these questions to life.

and being ‘good’ is subjective. because “good” is a subjective term.

so here it goes. i want to hear some answers.
don’t have to answer them all.
but anyone. if you are lurking or whatever, please feel free to pitch your thoughts.

  1. What is the purpose of life?
  2. What makes you genuinely happy?
  3. How do you serve others?
  4. How important is integrity?
  5. How honest are you to yourself?
  6. What are some qualities everyone should have?
  7. How important is communication?
  8. What is an honest communication?
  9. What are some questions we should ask ourselves?
  10. Who should we hate? Should we hate anyone?
  11. How much does family impact our lives?
  12. Does holding onto a grudge benefit us?
  13. What does it mean to be open-minded?
  14. How do we forgive others and ourselves?

1	What is the purpose of life?


2	What makes you genuinely happy?


3	How do you serve others?

Ultimately, I would like to help with my creation, but until then, I listen, I understand, I help if it is within my capabilities. Mostly I wait for requests. Some I just do when I see they need doing.

4	How important is integrity?

To the soul, integrity is very important, but conditions vary, people vary. It it therefore dependent on circumstance.
I consider myself honest but I do not like to hurt anyone’s feelings either. My honesty is dependent on another’s honesty with themselves. If they cannot hear it, I hesitate to tell it unless I must. I often understand what people need from me. It kind of freaks me out when I don’t. So I am both honest and dishonest but say I was to be killed if I did not choose to abide by a religion. I would take up that religion and save my life. It would be a lie. One I could live with until I escaped. Forced integrity is meaningless and a lie someone wants me to agree with. I know people become fucking scary and dangerous when they are afraid of their own shadow.

5	How honest are you to yourself?

I think quite honest. I miss things sometimes though. Not long ago I was thwacked with a biggie. I examined it and still do. It takes courage I am building up to and more time to be sure I understand. Refer to paragraph above for clues about integrity. I cannot explain it all here, would be massive.

6	What are some qualities everyone should have?

Patience, I think. Sense of humor. An open mind.

7	How important is communication?

When I was in grade school, I saw a play they brought to our school. It was called ‘A Comedy of Errors’. This phrase has come up in my life again and again. It is us, here, trying to communicate with words. I can only suggest people do their best to listen without taking another person’s struggle too personally. This is hard for me.

8	What is an honest communication?

The desire to work with someone for a mutual benefit. Being courageous enough to share our intentions.

9	What are some questions we should ask ourselves?

What do you want?

10	Who should we hate? Should we hate anyone?

Hate is poison. It is the destructor. Trespass at own risk.

11	How much does family impact our lives?

Wholly. Holy.

12	Does holding onto a grudge benefit us?

Hold the lesson. Let go the anger. Everyone is an asshole sometimes. If someone is an asshole too much of the time, leave them.

13	What does it mean to be open-minded?

Accepting that you cannot know or understand everything. That you are always open to learning, in any and every context.

14	How do we forgive others and ourselves?

We remember that we are living in the Comedy of Errors. We are ridiculous. We are trying. We are sometimes succeeding. All of us. Giving and receiving.


q: purpose of life?

I don’t think there is one.

But if I had to “choose” one it would be to learn (but that’s mainly because as infp, I feel rather useless so learning seems like most worthwhile endeavor)

q: What makes you genuinely happy?

I don’t know about that. Forest. I enjoy stellarmaze. There are milestones my kids have and it is amazing to witness. Those are like sporadic moments of happiness.

q: How do you serve others?

I don’t really do anything out of the ordinary.

q: How important is integrity?

I don’t know what integrity is.

q: How honest are you to yourself?

The problem is I never “know” what I “like”. So it’s garbled. I don’t know how to answer this question.

q: What are some qualities everyone should have?

No genocides.

q: How important is communication?

Can people communicate? Can they know each other truly? I’m not sure they can. But say they can, will they feel less alone? I hope so. But it seems that’s only with compatibility which the odds seem against a lot of the time.

q: What is an honest communication?

I don’t think it exists (not consistently )

Edit: just thinking about this made me realize that I can’t remember my itj parents lying to me. If they did they did it very little.

q: What are some questions we should ask ourselves?


q: Who should we hate? Should we hate anyone?

there are feelings that are very damaging. disgust. contempt. etc. i don’t know how people can control them but they really hurt others. disgust is very difficult to bear.

q: How much does family impact our lives?

As kids, family=the universe. So a lot. In adulthood, family is very restrictive and full of sacrifice, so it continues to have major impact. It colors your life. For better or for worse.

q: Does holding onto a grudge benefit us?

It must have some kind of benefit. But if you’re not “processing” the grudge maybe less benefit. But I think if there is a grudge it’s like there is something to figure out and maybe do like talk


Gives me shudders, a sick knot in my stomach. But then I strive to work my way through it to the other side.
I like your No Genocides answer.


Also, Exploration and Creation are a loop. Exploration inspires creation which inspires exploration and on and on, or should I say, round and round we go.


What is the purpose of life? To persist for the sake of persistence at all costs.

What makes you genuinely happy? Distractions

How do you serve others? Pushing them into the next phase of their life.
How important is integrity? There’s a thin layer of morality in each individual’s mental framework. The layers above are provoked challenges to overcome a false path.

How honest are you to yourself? More honest than most, but I’m more capable of tricking myself than anyone else.

What are some qualities everyone should have? Introverted thinking to more easily bypass bull shit piled on bull shit.

How important is communication? The more confliction, the more communication is needed.
What is an honest communication? Up front but considerate dialogue.

What are some questions we should ask ourselves? What are the opposing sides to my veiws. Why do those veiws hold merit.
Who should we hate? Should we hate anyone? We shouldn’t hate.
How much does family impact our lives? Too much

Does holding onto a grudge benefit us? In regards to humanity, everything is relevant to positive and negative outcomes. A dark path taken by one person can create a lighted path for someone else and vise versa.

What does it mean to be open-minded? Focused intent for truth

How do we forgive others and ourselves? Integrity through time determines if forgiveness is deserved.


Splendid, Sammy!


Thanks @TinyYellowTree!
I read yours after I posted mine. But I must say…exploration/creation! Just as “splendid” a way to veiw life.


What is the purpose of life?

To become who you really are.

What makes you genuinely happy?

Synchronicity, being in tune with the universe, time in nature or with children.

How do you serve others?

Volunteer in kid’s school and my community, food bank, younger son and I starting at animal shelter next month. Give to charity, try to help people out when I see a need.

How important is integrity?

See #1

How honest are you to yourself?

As much as possible in my current ability

What are some qualities everyone should have?

To be authentically human.

How important is communication?
What is an honest communication?

Very important and words can be just a smokescreen. There are lots of ways to communicate and understand.

What are some questions we should ask ourselves?

Depends what you want to find out.

Who should we hate? Should we hate anyone?

We should not tolerate those who blatantly exploit others for power or profit- genocide, child abuse etc.

How much does family impact our lives?

Birth family, socio-economic class and childhood support make a huge impact.

Does holding onto a grudge benefit us?

It’s wise to learn from experience, but a grudge can be poison too.

What does it mean to be open-minded?

Accepting that much of truth is subjective.

How do we forgive others and ourselves?

By continually tracing fear to its source and eradicating obstacles and blockages.


If type is inborn and astrology is tied to time of birth, enneagram is what? (How you deal with fear? )


Maybe, enneagram has a prescriptive element.


yikes posted in the wrong thread


Hi @supernokturnal
Make sure to come back:)
Taking a break too. Mine expires tomorrow but I’ll come back. Be there:)


purpose of my life is to expand my understanding and calm my ego the fuck down (“ego” used colloquially here). Either we are nothing more than a series of self perpetuating chemical reactions or we are some kind of more complex and eternal being than the material world reveals – I assume the former but am aiming to believe the latter. In either case I see expansion and acceptance as solid purposes, though in the former case it’s fully self-created while in the latter it could be tied to some eternal thing.

Perfectly written lines. Things that are perfectly the thing they are. Often this has a structural component or rhythm, timing, etc type thing to it. The complexity of something that is perfect is hard to describe but I know it when I see it/read it. Much of Shakespeare is perfect. That old npr sports writer who just retired and then died I think, his radio essays.

And it makes me happy when I see my kids do things that I can’t source from shit my wife or I taught them. Emergent things and individual initiative.

Confluence of intention and genius—i am happy anytime I see a genius operate at 100%. Edit to add proximal example: first time I heard @blake discussing something in a recording about some cognitive function it made me happy because it had the signature of genius at 100%. Which is worth precisely $6 a month to me haha.

I don’t, currently. I tend to be helpful if needed though, especially to strangers or to friends and family if they explicitly ask. It doesn’t bother me to be honest about things that others give a weird amount of credit for. A dude seemed super pleased that I returned the watch he left in my Uber last weekend. It was not like a $10K watch, but it was like a $500 watch, like an overpriced Nordstrom watch, Burberry brand. I’m particularly comfortable with physical effort for those when they need it. But I do all this stuff because I want to so I tend to struggle with knowing whether it qualifies as service, a concept I’ve never quite understood. If service means doing stuff I want that also benefits someone else, what’s the difference between service and working a good job? Is service defined by the lack of immediate monetary compensation? I don’t get it, never have quite gotten it.

Not important. Most the people I love most have very little, and I don’t really know integrity when I see it. I guess I think of integrity as being related to duty. And I don’t viscerally understand the idea of duty. It seems to me to be a thing that is fundamentally the same as peer pressure but sounds better.

I see consistency as an amoral concept. The thing with which you are engaged, to which you are loyal or aren’t, the thing that is furthered or halted as a result of your integrity, those things are colored in moral tones. And accurately understanding what is/isn’t true, or the likelihood of it being true or not true–basically doing good thinking about a thing–seems to me to be a much more dependable attribute in the end than integrity. Maybe I appreciate integrity to / commitment to doing good thinking. But do I have that kind of integrity? Eh, no.

I see an overemphasis on loyalty, consistency, or even integrity as it’s often defined, as at worst potential contributors to evil actions and at best the hobgoblin of little minds. they are tangential to ethics, really unrelated.

I’m extremely honest with myself. I miss a lot though. Only for a time. I have a track record of coming clean with myself even when it’s quite uncomfortable.

This question causes me to draw a major blank. I don’t have a single quality I think everyone should have. The first thought I had was “legs,” and then I decided against it.

I’d say I used to think it was super important, but I really only use it as tertiary Fe to sell myself to myself and others. Most of my social noise is Exploration (Ne) and it’s important for me like Bat Screams are important for bats but it’s not important for understanding each other because that’s not going to happen via communication, I have come to believe.

A figment of my imagination a decade ago

“And then what?”

We should hate things that aren’t what they say they are. Like Advertising based Free Software and social networks. But hate is a pretty strong word. Probably we should hate nothing. Definitely we shouldn’t hate any actual people. Why? What’s the point? Seems infantile to me to hate. Or comic book.

The most of all the things.

No way. Not holding onto a grudge is “Strictly better” than holding onto a grudge.

Nothing. That’s propaganda or dumb-speak for “It’s hard to explain my stance so can’t you just believe it because I am saying it?”

Others: we go to sleep and wake up the next day and be like "lol funny I was so annoyed."
Self: hmm. I guess if I can forgive others I can forgive myself. Others is much easier.


Major anti genocide contingent here today but in defence of genicide I’d like to say it’s likely that nobody who has done what has been labeled genocide by someone else has ever actually committed genocide as the other defines it. Not just saying that history is written by the victorious and incredibly non-genocidal but also that genocide is a political term like terrorism in some ways. Its a term that says “this one group made a determination to kill a group based on an affiliation.” But it doesn’t cover all the times that happens–if it does it’s as meaningless as the word terrorism.

All I’m saying is that ethics isn’t easy. Genocide is probably just duty taken further than the victorious side sees as acceptable. Genocide is a loaded and imprecise term that makes it seem like some bad guys are more evil than others. In reality, Duty on steroids plus some bad ideas can lead to genocide, right?


  • allegedly the thing the Mormon leader said to the local captain who then command his battalion to shoot the families they held captive at the Mountain Meadows.


No moral relativism on this one. The belief that people who belong to groups that are not self selected are evil and should be harmed simply for being alive and being born as part of an out group is always wrong.

Religious and political ideology take responsibility away from the individual and gives it to controlling elite. People are conditioned to be controllable and denied the choice to be ethical. Individualistic responses are more likely to
be unpredictable, but much less chance of wide scale destruction.