The Cream of the Crop (the Horror!)


#1

Come round and share tales of arrogance and insecurity from far and wide!!

So I should probs give you some backstory…yup yup. I met a new grad student in another lab today and when we were discussing undergrad, I had to jump through a couple of hoops to get her to admit she went to the top-tier institution in the country :rolling_eyes: which I thought was stupid because I didn’t want to drag it out like that anyway…I asked which college, not which city, you know?? No need to milk it in the name of modesty…or try to spare my poor insecure feelings…

But this got me thinking…usually I just say straight out where I went even though it’s prestigious (but much less so than hers) because I don’t like the process of drawing it out…it seems pretentious to me. But is that a minority opinion??


#2

it could be cultural. but also some are way too modest because they don’t like the attention they receive after disclosing information.

some people switch up when someone of a higher status say what they do. and some people don’t like seeing people switch up like that.

there was a guy I met and was very intelligent I thought he was a bible scholar. And he was very modest.
I asked him if he’s a pastor, he said he plays some instrument.
later I found out he plays for Philadelphia orchestra. one of top orchestra. violinist.

it’s common for people I first meet to ask "what do you do for living?"
I tell them "I just eat and sleep and have sex"
I don’t like talking about my business because usually I see no point and I don’t think they can help me anyways.

but when someone talks to me in a condescending way I smash their ego.

so it all depends who and where.

chihuahua barks the loudest.


#3

and if that violinist said “I play violin for Philadelphia orchestra”, I would be like 'oh cool’
but at the same time I’d be thinking ‘he could just say he plays violin, I didn’t ask what orchestra he play for’

when some unrealistic fucktards who think they know business say "I have masters for biochemical engineer"
I say "you should get a master for a real world economics"
or something like that to counter their ego.

anyways. humans are humans. titles mean nothing.
but unfortunately titles mean something to those sheep like minded individuals who can’t see past those labels in whatever organization they belong.


#4

@iamrl Was it Harvard? Because there’s a stereotype like “A cross-fitter, a vegan, and a Harvard alumn walk into a bar. How do you know? Oh they’ll tell you.” So maybe they heard that type of joke and are being overly sensitive and insecure, but actually making it worse?


#5

Hahahaha so true
and marines.


#6

I also think it’s because they had to put in a lot work for it
it’s like their whole life is based on it
self-made artist do the similar
i used to refer myself as a dancer when I was in my prime
because it almost defines who they(I) are(am)


#7

@supernokturnal You’re a dancer? That’s so cool! What kind of dancer? I thought you were a psychopath ESTP business person? Or am I mixing people up?

For what it’s worth I think bragging is good. Be proud of your accomplishments! You should show it off. Just don’t start believing it makes you better than other people. When people get all false modest-y it makes me think they actually DO think they are better than others, if that makes sense? So I guess I agree with @iamrl’s OP, false modesty is pretentious.


#8

I agree @Carolina, own it. Speak from the heart, we WILL notice and LOVE you for it. It’s that better than you and false modesty bs that makes us put up barriers.


#9

@Jennie Yes! :heart:


#10

Hahahaha
Freestyle dancer. all types. I like to dance to all types of music and freely express them accordingly.
but yes I’m also a psychopath ESTP business man also.
hahahah that’s hilarious.
but I’m also other things. aren’t we all? :wink:
I guess it depends on what perspective you’re observing me from.
I like to be well rounded and multi-talented.
I have my limitation but I like to grow in whatever I can.

oh yeah. I own my accomplishments. I frequently pat myself on the back. I brag a lot. maybe too much. but not obnoxiously. [quote=“Carolina, post:7, topic:349”]
Just don’t start believing it makes you better than other people. When people get all false modest-y it makes me think they actually DO think they are better than others, if that makes sense?
[/quote]

100% agreed!
no I don’t compare myself to others. because they’re not me. it’s useless.
I like to compare myself to my self. and seldomly look back and be proud of myself.

i hate false modesty. when someone who draws well say “I suck”,
when it’s pretty darn obvious they’re spanking good.
I’m like ‘if you suck, I’m a diaper in a trash can’

i believe that true humility and humbleness comes from knowing oneself accurately, both admitting their talent and weakness.


#11

Yeah it was the almighty H, the dreaded hydrogen H bomb :rolling_eyes:

I mean, I asked her what college she did undergrad at…so it’s not like she would have been bragging. Like yes I would have been a little jealous because my college is technically ‘Tier 2’ but I wouldn’t be annoyed at you on top of it if you hadn’t tried to spare my poor feelings :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#12

Yea I agree with this too…but it’s also easy to come off as arrogant when confident…sometimes I feel like people are judging me for it :sweat:


#13

There’s a fine line between arrogant and confident, I believe. Arrogance has an air about it, like I’m better than YOU. Whereas confidence is more like, yeah I’m a bad bitch and hold MY own. Feel the difference? :blush::blush:


#14

Hell yeah!! Thanks for raising a very good point :innocent:


#15

Nah, they’re just annoying as fuck.

@iamrl, this is why I like homeless people. They’re trying to survive not thrive. And it’s so fun to watch them in the city. They know everything. Probably the most wisdomatic people on the Earth. (Is that a word? Now it is.)

But sometimes I try to just see people on an even level. I think super said it in here, for some people it’s their life and they literally have nothing else to talk about. And really, it’s how they know how to speak, because that’s what they grew up with. It’s like that Seinfeld episode where the Kenyan runner learns the word bastard and calls an actual baby bastard, “bastard”. “Look at the cute little bastard!” He literally doesn’t know better. So I try (really hard) to apply this everyone. And I also believe it’s already been said here, people will admire you for being you. Different is good and happy is good. No one can harp on ya for being happy.


#16

Awwwhhh thanks for the perspective :heart: I’m going to try and not be as insecure loool…what kind of person gets this ticked off by someone just trying to be modest (and failing dramatically granted, but trying irregardless)?? :sweat:


#17

A person in today’s world trying to be a good person and at the same time succeed in what is defined as successful. ?


#18

Yeah, of course, you’re right :wink: that is just an unexpected combination! You sound like a really fascinating person :blush:


#19

Totally!! Like… um… how little respect do you have for me that you think I’m insecure about that? Please!! Psshhh


#20

lol well, you know there’s a sort of old adage that says anything/anyone that is bothering you is actually a lesson about yourself? So I don’t know what it is in this case, but are you also struggling with finding balance in feelings of superiority? Getting sucked into the toxic pecking order mentality of the university environment? Actually feeling insecure? This might be an opportunity to find it and pull that weed out :wink: