I can relate to what you describe about your friend, especially about getting into sorting out one piece of life but nevertheless not sorting out some major logistics, especially future-related stuff.
How to deal with it? Oh geez, it really is a weak part so almost hard to “see it” very well. I think that maybe the Se minimums help. I know that really confronting stuff head on as in…“what must I do or I will seriously regret it down the road” will throw me for mental loops I cannot get out of. It really sucks.
So…it is really really really important to come to terms with that…which feels horrible. I think knowing that I am not some master planner of my life is a hard truth to swallow. Hmmmm…maybe not all infps feel this way…
Just trying to answer this question feels like a mind loop…oh geez.
Okay … Se minimums or kind of like short-lived movements. Maybe I have no idea where I am going and it is my weakness…but just do a little move this morning. Do another little move this afternoon. And so on and on. Maybe Ne can then serve as a correction on the move as it happens…I can only describe it vaguely.
Let’s see what would be a concrete example? That is harder because I won’t know how to solve it. Okay let’s say I become aware that the location of where I live sucks…I risk imploding due to the number of things I would have to do to make a big change and I might lose sight of the order of steps and the significance of factors to consider (will this place be a detriment to my kids? Does it matter where you grow up? Is it my duty? Will I regret this later? What about their education one day, this place might be okay now but later? Is it too late? Did I already mess up?) MELTDOWN…complete meltdown. Hopelessness. Sorrow for not knowing if my kids are getting what they could…guilt. Self-hatred.
Risks…giving up, overeating, neglecting TODAY’s little matters AS WELL as tomorrow’s bigger matters.
Temptation…to pick one smaller matter and focus on it hoping that it gives a position of strength to deal with all the questions that came up in the meltdown…like go do a stellar job with the computer files lol.
Does it work? No, because focusing on one item is using parts of infp that aren’t that aren’t that great it is like getting completely mired.
Solution? Stop the thoughts from time to time and just take some kind of small-packaged action, simplify to more generic goals (oh so sad…:() any that represents movement, hopefully it will be forwards movement. There are always the generic goals if you are totally stuck. Talk to others to hear their perspectives. Just seeing how other people don’t freak out as much can be reassuring.
Problem solved? A little bit. It won’t satisfy the part of infp that knows there is a better way to live life, more potential. More fruition. Less generic. More self determination. It will still be a mess probably.
It is OK to not be like those “highly efficient” folks we were supposedly trained to become in high school.
Stresses me out to write about lol.
So like…think of course adjustments along the way…rather than “you must pick the correct course right now”. It is really scary because it seems like a backwards solution. It just don’t make sense. A voice says “but it doesn’t work that way, you can’t just make any choice and then correct, stuff is irreversible”. This crazy dialogue can set in…