I love Tinder, but I think my experience is probably pretty different from yours. If you’re a straight woman who is DTF then Tinder is a cakewalk. Sometimes you eat some shitty cake, but that’s just part of how the game goes. I’m looking for entertainment mainly, which sometimes means chatting, sometimes sexting, sometimes fucking, ideally all three. I am definitely looking to chat as part of the package but I’m explicit about that, I like variety and seek interesting experiences. This week I went out with a guy who lied and told me he was a professional clown but was actually a professional musician, a dog-walker who was house-sitting for his brother’s place with a pool, and a neuroscientist.
Best advice is be direct, which it sounds like you’re already doing. If you’re looking for sex with minimal conversation put that in your profile for a week and see what happens. Even list your kinks, though from what I’ve read on here you seem to prefer holding your cards close. Specificity is gonna thin your matches but at least you’ll know the ones you get are on board. IDK might not work for you, for some reason straight women seem to like to play demure even if they’re actually hoes but it’s worth a shot. This guy had a profile that said “traveling for work and in an open relationship, looking for something specific” and I was so curious that I messaged him, maybe use mystery to your advantage. Usually I’m too lazy to send messages first, just filter through whatever comes in.
I can’t believe the app chastised you for asking about people’s kinks. It seems like that kind of question is to be expected, easy enough to ignore or unmatch without reporting. As far as opening lines go referencing something directly from the person’s pics or profile is a good move. I’m pretty open to whatever but I still like someone to make me feel like my personal trading card has more value than the hundreds of others out there even if I know it’s bullshit. It is def a numbers game tho, and also a timing game. What’s said in a message has way less to do with whether or not I respond than what time I happen to get it and what kind of mood I’m in.
Too bad you’re the one asking the questions. Super curious about your experience with Tinder. Also want to know how you embed commands into your chats, feel like that’s something I’d like to try.