If you really want to give a person a treat, why not treat them as they wish to be treated?
This is no way to talk to Fi users, Blake. hahaha
I find that they usually treat others as they themselves want to be treated because that’s just how they first perceive fairness. Treating others how they want to be treated requires some semblance of Fe insight probably.
You’re exactly right on both accounts.
Who is the greatest offender of stubbornly treating others only as themselves, Blake?
I think INFP at least… uh… give up and float away if it makes someone testy.
ISFP seem to get pretty bitter and passive-aggressive about it, but maybe they get forgiven half the time because they are hot. lol
I guess ENFP get kind of preachy about both ends of the spectrum, depending on what they were influenced by.
Maybe it’s ESFP who are most stubborn and hypocritical if they see others not treating them personally how ESFP wants to be treated.
INTJ seem to get testy then frustrated then pick and choose their battles about this. Depends what the outcome would be for them.
Not sure about the other types besides that maybe ENTJ and ESTJ throw offended tantrums and rationalize about it later with trying to do better/listen more… but then end up in same circumstance again.
you have to know how they want to be treated…and be able to give what they want
Fe might not treat Fi the way Fi wants and vice versa. Fe has more likelihood of getting it right. Fe has the capacity to give people what they want. Fi may not even have the capacity
Ah, now that truly sounds like the Fi-Te axis in action-reaction modality.
Fi action = treat others as you wish to be treated.
Te reaction = assess damage!
I find that many people don’t really know what they want though…
This requires you finding out what they want and giving it to them whether or not they recognize that as a want.
Can you tell I just finished posting in the relationship thread…
I’ve tried and have stood by this motto most of my life since I’ve learned it. But these days, I find it hard not to go overboard and be “too nice” as people have a way of not returning the favor and more forcefully pressing themselves, who they are, their needs, their wants, their expression, their life on you. I find even give people more courtesy to finish their damn thoughts before I come back at mine - but people prone to interrupt and push themselves on you if you keep treating them with the kind of high standards you have for yourself. I like this better: “My joy/happiness is the best thing for me and everyone else.”
I’m thinking at this stage in my life, maybe it is better to treat people based out of your level of personal joy/satisfaction(and treat with fairness), but you don’t have to treat them with the same standards as you treat yourself. Majority of the time, I’ve found a lack of reciprocity, and without reciprocity, I feel you use more of your precious time and energy on others who don’t deserve it, when you could be saving more for yourself. Because at the end of the day, I believe, all you really have left is you and all your limitations.
That’s a great point. Many people really don’t know what they want…and even if they may have an idea, they are less likely to tell you earnestly.