So, I just finished getting ready for my sister’s birthday gathering, and I was thinking about beauty routines.
What do you do when you’re really trying? I ask “really trying” because most of the time, I look kinda granola. If I’m just hanging around the house, I usually smell and look like a homeless person. But I clean up pretty well, gotta admit.
Here’s what I do:
- Hang out in my robe while I do the next steps…
- Put a serum thingy on my face that is supposed to make me look younger. Let that dry.
- Put a primer on my face. Let that dry.
- Maybs some eye moisturizer.
- When shit is dry and ready, I then put on eye-shadow primer.
- While that is setting, I put foundation on.
- Then I put on my eyebrows! This is tedious because I want them to look natural. I have a cream thing and a brush. So, I kind of paint the hair then shape them.
- Now eye-shadow! Yay! I put like 3 colors on. First a shimmery one. Then one that is a little darker on my crease, then one that is even darker on my lids and under-eye.
- No eyeliner, cause I suck ass at it. Besides, I think it may detract from some natural beauty. Yeah, that’s what I’ll say.
- Then, I curl my eyelashes. That’s fun. God, the weird shit chicks do to look kinda okay…
- Contour and blush.
- During this time, my hair has been wet, clipped back, sorta air-drying. -Which is necessary to give it some air-dry time because I have a lot of hair!
- So now, I’m kinda warm and I know I’ll get even warmer with the blow dryer, so the rest I do naked.
- I comb my hair.
- Put some oil thing in it. I don’t even know what it’s called. I only bought it because it had a unicorn on it.
- Then I dry my hair in three sections. Round brush.
- Then I plug in whatever heat torture I decide on that day. Most of the time I do loose curls. Today I decided to straighten it. If I let my hair do it’s natural thing, I wouldn’t be married…jk…but for real, it’s crazy!!!
- While the heat thingy is warming up, that’s when I brush my teeth, put on deodorant cause I forgot, and put on some perfume in fun places. I like roll-on perfume.
- So now the hot thingy is probs ready.
- Then I do whatever I need to do in three sections again.
- Then maybe I’ll put some more unicorn oil on my hair…depending.
- IF I decide on lipstick that day, I save it for last. If I put lipstick on, it’s a special fucking occasion.
- Then I put on clothes.