Your MBTI Soulmate


#1

Remember when Blake talked about Soulmates on this thread?

Here are some thoughts and words from Blake from that thread.

The Intuitives

INFJ—ENTP
INTJ—ENFP
ENTP—INFJ
ENFP—INTJ
ENFJ—ISFP
ENTJ—ISTP
INFP—ESFJ
INTP—ESTJ

The Sensors

ISTP—ENTJ
ISFP—ENFJ
ESTP—ISFJ
ESFP—ISTJ
ISFJ—ESTP
ISTJ—ESFP
ESTJ—INTP
ESFJ—INFP


So, according to Blake’s soulmate formula, these are your soulmates.

So, look at this. Share some conclusions of your own. Are you married to your soulmate?

If not, look at your calculated soulmates. Do they seem like they would fit in your life today? Good qualities of your soulmate? Bad qualities?

AND, what type is the most unhealthy for you? The immature, yet exhilarating type for your type? Unhealthy in Blake’s words are the types that highlight in the extreme the id and inferior functions.


(Prax, please feel free to look over this and make any corrections as you see fit. I tried my best to match the correct types with each other - but I could have easily made a mistake.)


#2

Lol. Depressing.

By the way I don’t know if Blake thinks of it as including those 2 types? For example for infj, I don’ t think he was recommending estp the shadow type…?


#3

@Blake will have to come here and clarify if he so wishes to do so. Maybe we can clarify for him.

All I did was follow his formula and boom. Results.

I like where you’re going, please continue.


#4

“Continue”

I think he was recommending intuitive goes with intuitive, sensor with sensor, feeler with feeler, thinker with thinker, but the other’s creative gift to the world (the auxiliary function) is one’s Tertiary function, which Blake says is something we seek (but also get drained overusing on our own). Maybe the happy version of it in the auxiliary is what is so nice then.

So for ex for enfj, isfp because isfp is a feeler and their gift to the world is Se which is enfj’s tertiary function.


#5

Hmmm… @Blake! Can you come here and clarify??? I want to correct this.


#6

So, this is an intuitive with a sensor. So I get the second part of your example, but not the first.


#7

By intuitive I just mean intuitive dominant. So enfj with isfp is feeler with feeler.

So what do you think? Do you have isfp friends?


#8

I’m still confuzzled. Lol.

What is INFJ’s soulmate then?


#9

According to the way Blake sees it, entp. Because entp is intuition dominant, offers Ti as a gift to the world, and infjs seek Ti but get worn out overusing it themselves.


#10

So, that’s a feeler with a thinker?


#11

Infj is an intuitive (go by the dominant function). Entp is also an intuitive. Sorry looks like I am confusing you. Like you weren’t even that confused at first.


#12

Eureka! No, believe me, I am always confused. I think I understand now. I am going to edit this.


#13

Thanks, @lunar! Should be good now?


#14

@Ankh
Am on a road trip and I am getting car sick lol. So will look closer later but it looks right. You have isfj with entp, typo. Will check later


#15

Dammit!! Motherfu***** sldkfjsldkfjsldkfjsldkfjsdlkfj! Okay, I’m not looking at this anymore. Maybe by the end of the day it will be a reliable source of information…haha!


#16

i have a theory on this matter.


#17

I haven’t met my soulmate yet… i have a vague idea what the person might be like, based on my current views on life…

My past… Type & astrology wise :

  • ENFP… Aries sun, Cancer moon… I might have ended up marrying this guy… except that I was too immature to forgive him his flaws, when I should have… but, i knew I couldn’t have lived with them… and now he’s married to someone else… sigh… he was amazing… still makes my stomach flip when he looks at me… and he has a really sexy voice… i like deep voices… he used to tell me stories… everything became a story… he made even the most mundane morning routine sound like an adventure… that’s the thing about Ne… everything is full of wonder… and there was so much passion in his voice… that’s the thing about Fi… it’s full of fire… he was full of fire… he loved literature… he loved art… he loved travel… he loved philosophy… he loved music… and he spoke of these things with passion… he played the piano and the trumpet… and he was such an optimist even though he had a really difficult family life… i loved all that about him… but I never actually showed him how I felt… he would always use this word to describe me… inscrutable… and he loved that I was inscrutable… he liked the challenge… but I guess I hurt him too badly by being passive aggressive… I don’t know what I was afraid of :stuck_out_tongue:
    Attending his wedding was very… umm… unpleasant… but nah… I think that woman is better for him… she loves him the right way and he deserved that :slight_smile: anyway… he taught me how to open up to the beauty of this world… a lot of who I am today is because of him… so yeah… very precious guy… I think healthy ENFP are very good for INFJ… sometimes, more so than ENTP, because they don’t cause Ti jealousy… instead, they’ll gently lead you into beautiful experiences… those years when he was around were all about discovering the interests that were lying dormant within me…
    Cons from infj pov… probably ENFP Fe id… it can make them a little pretentious… he was never pretentious with me but I couldn’t forgive it in general… and he was a little clingy… he would lose himself in the other… like blend with my personality… and not be able to have an independent identity at times… that’s too much responsibility for me… and… I couldn’t spar with him… I like getting into intellectual arguments for the heck of it… he’d get intimidated by that sometimes… like he loved me for the way I thought… but that’s not enough… I like a challenge… and… I was possessive (but that’s a secret) :stuck_out_tongue:
    So do I regret it? Hmm not really… I don’t think we would’ve been happy together forever…

Okay there are like few more types I wanna talk about… but I’ll do them tomorrow cause I gotta go for now…


#18

I remember.

Your theory is that soulmates are created, not given to us. And I remember this because I thought it was a fascinating idea. And I tend to sway in your thought direction.

Do you care to elaborate?


#19

Interesting thoughts, @piggie. So, your past experience does prove that maybe an INFJ soulmate is not in an ENFP. Although, you had this wonderful connection with him.

I have problems…reading your experience. Maybe it’s my NF thing, but I can’t look at your experience as objective. Neither do you, I’m sure. But, that is one of my biggest downfalls. I live in the past and in an ideal memory or experience I once had. And it makes me sad. Because I know, deep down, I will never find someone whom I truly connect with. It will always be a question. It will always be a comparison to something I once had or something I wish I once had. And it’s all because I sabotage it. I burn bridges and expect the other person to walk on water.

Wow, I went astray there. I am looking forward to hearing your thoughts on other types. :slight_smile:


#20

those listed above, when it comes to ‘chemistry’, i’d say probably the best type.

and this ‘soul-mate’ doesn’t have to be someone you marry.

in my honest opinion and observation, things get worse when you marry your ‘soul-mate’.

in a friendship between these two types, there is growth, more than any other types can provide.

but not someone you want to spend 24/7 and rest of your life with, being married, making decisions together. no.

i dated an ISFJ, and it was the toughest relationship i’ve ever had.
and i’m glad i went through it. it made me realize what i don’t want in a ‘long-term’ relationship.
we just didn’t see the world the same way. it was very hard to make any decision, and come to agreement with stuff.

this chart, it’s like this for ESxP types, they go with ISxJ types. <-in this case both are sensors. but Se and Si.
but with ESxJ types, they go with INxP types. <- in this case sensor and intuitive flip. but Fe and Fi, and Te and Ti.
basically, opposite of Dominant function in extroversion/introversion flips.

INFJ, Ni. ENTP, Ne.
ENFP, Ne. INTJ Ni.

so if INTJ’s best ‘soul-mate’ is ENFP Ne, the second best would be ENTP Ne.

alright, moving on…

MANY couples i’ve seen tend to marry their ‘soul-mate’.
and when i see these couples, i think of the concept ‘opposite attracts’.

but it doesn’t make the best ‘partner’.
there are many differences in interest and activities. this relationship is, in my opinion, for ‘mental/spiritual’ growth.

many ENFP gets frustrated at their INTJ marriage mate, not socializing, wanting to go home early, not speaking up during conversation. and find INTJ boring.
but there seems to be a ‘balance’ and ‘harmony’ because of this difference.

if i had to use an analogy. it’s like being born into a religion.
most people whose born into religion don’t really ‘question’ if their religion is the ultimate source of salvation or not.
it takes more than just ‘questioning’ for someone to realize being in their religion that they grew up in, is not the ultimate, or the only way of salvation.
and even though they may not like being in their religion, they feel like getting out of their ‘comfort zone’ requires so much effort and research.
many don’t take this route. but a handful does.

many of these ‘soul-mate’ marriage goes through much suffering and tribulation.
they go through the stages of ‘wanting to divorce’. but good amount will stick around and try to make the relationship work.

but these type of marriages, either one or both question 'do i regret being married to this person?'
of course this can happen in any kind of marriage. but this seems to happen more often.
just strictly in my observation.
i’m not claiming any of these are hard facts.

many people don’t even know who they are themselves until at least the age of 30.
and from my observation, when people aren’t aware of who they are, they tend to marry their natural ‘soul-mate’.
because there is the most natural chemistry and attraction.
but in my opinion, that’s a poor choice, because they didn’t consider other factors into what marriage is going to be.
do they have similar values? similar hobbies? similar understanding of culture? similar taste in food? will they get along with their partner’s family members? do they have better understanding on how to resolve conflict? etcetc.

but when one really knows what they want AND don’t want, what they need and don’t need, they can make better decision, surpassing the MBTI typing. or just natural 'soul-mate’
it opens that individual into new possibilities and not limiting his/herself to just one or two types that are ‘best matching’.

and this natural ‘soul-mate’ doesn’t always provide growth either.
rather, it FORCES one to ‘grow’. because that’s the only way to create harmony.

when i was dating an ISFJ, who always needed to be in control of her situation, i had hard time ‘planning my future’ because she would freak out if she didn’t know what we are doing next.
i could NEVER surprise her with gifts because she hated the anticipation.
we could not enjoy the same hobby. and my ‘strength’ seemed like a flaw, and i felt like i had to ‘work on myself’ a lot.
i tried to “fix” my ESTPness.
but that made me more unhappy, and i wanted to break-free. but i felt stuck.

then i realize, i needed someone, i wanted someone who will enhance my ability and appreciate what i can bring to the table. not just ‘correct’ myself.

there’s this INFJ - ENTP couple. and i always see INFJ correcting ENTP. and is that ENTP truly happy?
hell to the no. well they are married. and their culture don’t really believe in divorce… although they have considered it. there’s too much pressure for them to NOT divorce.

and there’s ISTP - ENTJ couple i know also. this ISTP loves his job. he is a mechanic. how wonderful right? haha. and ENTJ wants to go out and have fun on the weekends. but ISTP wants to stay home and relax. and sometimes the ISTP will reluctantly go out with her. and ENTJ complains because ISTP always ‘chills’ on the weekend and not ‘do anything’.

when you really look at these list, it may appear that these opposite works like Yin and Yang. but i’ve seen less harmony between these two types.

i do think that these work better in a strictly platonic friendship situation. where there is no romance and no expectation.
in friendship, there will be admiration to each other. but in romantic relationship, there seems to be more frustration building up.

i’ve seen other types of ‘non soul-mate’ couples being in a relationship.
and it seems like they make a better team than this ‘soul-mate’ chart.

and there are so many variables.

when one person understands his/her individuality, they become more than their MBTI type, or their Enneagram type.
giving them more possible ‘soul-mate’ selection.

a successful relationship requires more than just being your MBTI type.
it requires skills, it requires knowledge, understanding, wisdom.
requires humility, integrity, honesty, trust, etc.

i’m not knocking on this list.
i think if the person doesn’t know who he/she is themselves, then maybe this chart works.
but honestly, people ‘naturally’ are drawn to their ‘soul-mate’ type.
so many adult couples who have no idea what MBTI is, are married to their ‘soul-mate’.
but they are the ones also who says “only if i knew this was going to happen, i would’ve waited until i found my soul-mate”

irony.

i don’t know if i explained myself well here.
my thought are all over the place.
not so good at organizing.

but this is my theory.
and using data from my observation.